


Struck By Love

by Mischel



Category: Glee, Struck by Lightning (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Boyfriends, Carson is there, Crossover, Crush, Everyone calls Kurt Carson exept for Blaine, First Kiss, Friendship to Love, Happy Ending, Humor, Husbands, Klaine, LGBTQ problems, M/M, Music, Not accepted by parents, Romance, Sarcasm, Singing, Songs lyrics, Struck by Lightning school, Writing, big dreams, but Blaine is there too, high school life, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 44,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6871603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischel/pseuds/Mischel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is a Klaine AU - it takes place in Chris' movie "Struck By Lightning". Basically, it's the movie with Blaine joining the Writers Club because he has a crush on Kurt/Carson and he's a transfer student in his senior year. And this is a really bad summary because when I started this fic I didn't know what exactly should it be about. But now I know and you should read it ;) Just read all the tags, it took me 25 weeks to write, but it's finished now and I'll update as often as I can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Well, get ready for the ride and I hope you'll like it :) My longest fanfiction I've ever written, but I hope to write even longer ones in future ;) I'm not native speaker, but I hope everything's more or less fine.

"There is no 'h' in suck!" I hear someone yell across the hall as I step out of the elevator. It's my first year here in Clover, but don't get it wrong, I'm already in my senior year. I had to transfer and I don't know why, but I guess I hoped Clover would be better.

I look at the boy standing next to the wall full of papers and I smile. He certainly doesn't look happy, but I'm pretty sure I have never laid my eyes upon anything more beautiful in my entire life. I mean, I look at him, at his pout and... God he's gorgeous.

He suddenly looks at me and I realize I've been staring at him for a few seconds now.

"What?" He asks bitterly, "You wanna add another 'suck' there?"

"N-no," I quickly stutter, "I-I didn't write it, apart from those morons I know that there's no 'h' in suck." I defend myself.

"Oh, well, good for you." He says and walks away.

Wait. What? He walks away? Just like that? No way, I'm not letting this be the end of our first encounter.

"Hey! Wait!" I call and run after him, but he doesn't turn around. "Hey!" I say again, this time already standing in front of him. He stops and rolls his eyes.

"What do you want?" He asks, glaring at me.

"Um, well, I'm Blaine Anderson." I smile a bit and reach out my hand. He doesn't shake it. "I'm new here, I transferred." I add.

"And I should care, because..."

"Um, I just wanted to ask if you know where's..." I quickly look at my paper with instructions that I wrote yesterday and continue, "...classroom number 14?" I look up at him again.

He sighs with irritation and says, "turn around." I turn around and look at the door. Of course it says 'Classroom 14' and of course I had to embarrass myself in front of him right the first time I met him. Typical me. I turn back, but he's already walking into the classroom. Well, at least we share the first class. Meaning, I get to stare at him the whole time. I walk inside and sit down to a desk in the corner of the room.

Fifteen minutes later and the blackboard is already full of x's and y's, brackets and different random letters. Honestly, it's a lot to take in on my first day of school here, but I guess I'll have to deal with it. My dad expects me to be a straight-A student, as always – a nerd.

"Well, the 'i' stands for an imaginary number." The teacher says and I write a note to the 'i' in my book.

"Okay, hold up. There are imaginary numbers now?" I hear a familiar voice say and I look up. "Are there unicorns in the next lesson? Can someone please teach me something useful? Like, how to balance a checkbook?" He says and God, doesn't _that_ turn me on. He's very good looking and he's sassy like hell and- Oh crap... I think I have a crush.

And I don't even know his name.


	2. Sign Me Up

The end of the class comes sooner than I ever thought was possible and I realize that I've been thinking about him the whole time. Hell, I still am. I sigh. The mysterious handsome boy with an unusually high voice and great hair... I have to find out what his name is before it drives me completely insane.

As soon as the bell rings and the door opens I quickly grab my books and bag and run out of the classroom. I look around and when I spot him in the crowd of kids I go to him. He may not like me, but I just have to talk to him.

"Hi," I start and immediately regret it. Seriously, that was the lamest way to start a conversation with him. He looks at me quickly and sighs.

"Look," he says and looks at me. "If you want to have at least some reputation at this school, you better not follow me. Everyone hates me here, so don't bother being nice."

"I want to be nice," I smile slightly, "and I don't care about reputation. I just wanted to ask your name since you helped me before."

He looks at me and suddenly his expression changes into something a bit kinder, softer. "Well, I'm Kurt," he says and his previously bored and annoyed face returns. "Everyone calls me Carson here though. Or dick."

I look at him. "Why does everyone hate you? You seem like a nice guy," I point out, trying not to sound like I actually like him. He doesn't even look at me, he just laughs sarcastically.

"Please," he says and looks at me. "You don't know me at all."

 _But I really want to_.

"Well, then tell me why do people hate you so much." I say. We turn the corner and I stop walking when I realize that the next classroom that I have to get into is here. And for the first time, he stops walking because I stopped too.

"I don't even know," he starts and looks at the ground. "I suppose they just hate _me_ , my personality and the fact that I care so much about something that they give a shit about and they hate me because I'm willing to do absolutely anything to get what I want and because I run my own club, and so I hate them too."

"Wow," I whisper and then clear my throat. That was the longest speech I have ever heard from him without acting like he was annoyed all the time. It was actually really honest. "I don't hate you," I smile a bit.

He looks back at me. "Give it a few days," he says. "you'll start to, don't worry."

"No," I say firmly. "I'm not that kind of a person, I don't want to hate you just because you care about..."

"writing."

"Yeah, writing. If you love it, then why should I hate you, I love singing and writing my own songs. Everyone loves something." I finish. I look at his lips for a second and I can't believe it. He's smiling at me. Well, not really smiling, just slightly, but it is something, right? "You said you have... a club?" I ask.

"Um, yeah, it's the Writers Club, but as usual, everyone thinks it sucks and no one ever wants to join. Except a few people, but they don't do anything. I suppose they just joined because their parents made them to join something and they thought that they wouldn't have to do anything. And they don't, so I have to write everything on my own."

I can't stop smiling when I'm looking at him. "Well, sign me up." I say cheerfully.

"What?" He asks and looks at me as if I just grew a second head.

"Sign me up, I want to be in your club." I say again.

"Stop screwing with me, okay?" He says and scowls. "I don't-"

"I'm not," I say and put my hand on his shoulder. He looks at my hand as if he wanted to burn it and so I carefully put it away. "Um, I'm not making fun of you, I'm serious Kurt. I want to be in your club, so when is the next meeting?" I ask.

"Today, after school." He says matter of factly, still looking at me.

"After school then," I smile at him and walk away, heading towards my classroom. I stop when I'm near the door and look back at him. He's still standing there, but soon he shakes his head slightly and without looking back, he continues on his way down the hall. A few people bumps into him in the crowd and all I hear is, "cattle, cattle, cattle!"

I smile again and go inside the classroom. I do believe I found myself a new friend.


	3. The First Meeting

What the hell am I even doing? I can't write, I don't know anything about writing and this club, let alone about Kurt, and today after school... is my first meeting with them. God, I hope I won't screw up, I really want to get to know him more.

Before I even realize it, the bell is ringing and with it ends the last lesson for me today. It's time.

I breath in and out and try to imagine what it might be like – meeting those few kids that are in Kurt's club, but don't care about writing. I don't want to be like them. I want to be useful for him, so he wants me in his club and then we can be friends...

But that's the problem. I _can't_ write.

I quickly pack my stuff into my bag and head outside of the classroom. I'm the last one to come out. I look at the map of the school that I printed yesterday and look for the... Hell, I don't even know where that meeting is supposed to be. Shit.

I got an idea – I run to the wall where Kurt pinned that paper earlier today and I smile when I see the exact number of the classroom I need to find. Now all I need to do is find it in my map and go there.

_Kurt slash Carson, I'm coming for you._

xoXOXox

The classroom is empty when I come in. Well, that's until I see Kurt's hair behind the desk, it looks like he's looking for something in his bag... wait, does this mean that we're alone? No, nope, I'm not excited at all, I'm perfectly fine, just keep calm...

"Hi," I say when I come closer. Within a second I hear a loud gasp and Kurt's head is suddenly looking at me.

"Geez!" He says loudly, "You scared me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I quickly apologize. After a few seconds, he returns his attention back on some papers that he's probably put out of his bag.

"You're early," he says, still looking at those papers. "No one is ever here on time, they all come late, or not at all."

"Yeah, that's bad," I reply, not sure what to say next. "What are those?" I ask, pointing at the papers he's holding.

"My articles that I wrote yesterday. As I said, those shitheads don't do anything but complain that I care too much, I have to write everything on my own." He then puts them aside and sits on the chair. He lays his torso on the desk and stops talking. I know he's waiting for the other members to arrive and he's probably sad that I'm the only one who showed up, but he looks so adorable in this position, seriously.

"Hey, Carson," Someone says from the door. Kurt and I look up. It's a blonde girl with a really high ponytail on the top of her head. She's wearing a pink t-shirt and has a bag over her shoulder. She's also holding a camera.

"Hey, Malerie," Kurt says and he smiles. This time I can see that his smile is genuine, the girl's probably his good friend.

She looks at me and goes closer with the camera. She points it on my head and looks through it. I smile slightly. "Who... is that?" She asks and points the camera lower... and lower.

"Are you shooting my butt?" I ask a bit uncomfortably. I hear Kurt chuckle.

"Maybe," she smiles. "I'm Malerie."

"Blaine."

She finally turns to Kurt and says, "I wrote another short story for the chronicle." Kurt nods and stands up.

"Great, let's hear it," he says and sits on the desk.

"It's um... this one," she smiles slightly and points on a journal on the table. "I think you're gonna like it. It's probably my best one." From Kurt's face I can see that he doesn't expect, well... anything. Malerie puts the camera down and starts. "Call me Ishmael. Some years ago-" Kurt's expression changes into a bored and a bit annoyed one. It's clear that he doesn't really want her to continue. She does, nevertheless, "- Never mind how long precisely-"

"Malerie," Kurt stops her and rolls his eyes. Malerie looks up."Did you really write this?"

"No," She says and sighs. "You saw right through me. I'm a complete disappointment."

"I'm sure you're not," I say. I kinda feel bad for her. Kurt looks at me, then back at her.

"And don't be so hard on yourself." He says. "I mean, writing takes time. Your own words would help too."

"But I can't think of any ideas myself." She says sadly. She's exactly like me, she wants to write, but she just can't. "Like, I have no imagination." She adds. "All God blessed me with was this flawless complexion and really good table tennis skills. I'm like... asian good." Kurt smirks. "How do you do it?" She asks finally. Great, I have the same question. I really don't want to disappoint him.

I look at Kurt. "I... uh, well," he hesitates, trying to think of what to tell her, "d-don't try to find the ideas." He looks at Malerie again. "Let the ideas find you." He smiles slightly.

Suddenly the intercom says across the whole building, "Attention student council members. There's a meeting in the activities office." Kurt seems annoyed again.

"God," he utters. "They only have these meetings when they think I've gone home." He takes his bag and puts it over his shoulder. "The joke's on them. I never go home."

"Yeah," Malerie laughs. "either do I, 'cause home's overrated. So is m&m's world. Seriously," she mumbles.

Kurt opens the door and suddenly he's gone. And then it hits me. No one came to the meeting, the meeting's over. I quickly grab my stuff, say bye to Malerie and run out of the room. As soon as I catch up with Kurt I say, "Wait, so that's it?" I ask, "The meeting's over?"

He doesn't stop walking, he just looks at me. "Yes, that was it. See? No one came, everybody hates this club, because everybody hates me."

_I don't._

"Okay," I say sadly. "Um, so when is the next meeting?" He stops and looks at me.

"Well, it should be tomorrow, but you never know who'll come. Or rather who won't come."

"That's awful, I mean, you said that writing takes time, that it's hard. It can't be easy to see everyone else's disinterest." I smile at him briefly, sad. It's just not fair, I want him to have at least someone who cares about him apart from Malerie. I care about him. I won't be a disappointment.

"Yeah, that's just the way it is." He sighs. "Look, I'd rather be tortured than go to that meeting, but I have to go there. And at least I can laugh in their faces when they see me there, so... bye." He says and quickly walks away.

"Yeah, bye!" I call after him, but in that moment he disappears behind a corner.

Well, that meeting really didn't go the way I thought it would. But, hey, at least I saw Kurt's smile for the first time. And I'm willing to do anything to see that lovely smile again, so I'm going to try harder than ever before and I'm going to write him the best story that he has ever read.

With that, I go home.

 


	4. The Best Story

I'm waiting outside the journalism classroom. I can see that Kurt's already there and so is Malerie, and a few other kids. I don't want him to think that I don't want to be there, because I really want to be there and listen to him... But yesterday I wrote something and I want to show him and I know that he would want me to read it out loud in front of them. I guess I'm just not prepared for that yet. I'd rather be there with him alone.

I can tell by the look he's giving them that he's upset. He's not happy with something. Malerie gestures to some pictures on the table and Kurt just rolls his eyes and says something. Then some emo girl yells something at him and another boy says something too. Kurt takes his glasses off and looks in his direction, his shoulders slump a little. He looks so vulnerable now that I just want to open the door and go give him a hug. But I do nothing.

The bell rings and they all scatter like roaches. The emo girl stays behind, mumbles something and punches Kurt in the arm slightly. Then she walks away. Perfect time to come inside.

I slightly open the door and hear Kurt say quietly, "Because I _need_ something to care about." He's turned back to me. I don't want him to think that I was sneaking around, which I actually was, so I don't comment on what he has just said.

Instead, I say, "Hi," as much awkwardly as I could have. He turns around and smiles a little.

"Hi," he replies. "Why weren't you here, they all just left."

"I know, I'm sorry," I admit. "I just wasn't sure if they would like my story and I kinda didn't want them to hear it." I say. Kurt's face lights up.

"Story?" He asks. I can clearly hear the hope and excitement in his voice as much as he tries to hide it.

"Um, yeah," I smile a bit and pull the paper out of my bag. It's only one paragraph long and even though I promised myself to write the best story Kurt has ever read, it's actually pretty horrible. I'm not a good writer, I'm not even a writer, I just happen to have a crush on a boy who loves writing.

He comes closer to me and sits on the table. I give him the folded piece of paper and say, "I know it's horrible, but I tried really hard."

He reads it. I know every word of it, it says:

_Once upon a time, there was a girl,  
_ _who wanted to discover the world.  
_ _But she was stuck at school and had  
_ _a lot of homework. Like Chemistry, and  
_ _Math and other stuff, she didn't like it,  
_ _but who would, right? So she ran away.  
_ _From her life, I guess. And she saw the world.  
_ _The End._

He slowly looks up at me and takes a deep breath. "Blaine," he starts. Oh my God, this is the first time he actually said my name and it sounds amazing. "It's... not _that_ bad..."

I close my eyes and bow my head. "I'm such a disappointment," I say and rub my eyes. "I wanted to write something, because you said that no one else does, and I failed."

"Hey," he says and squeezes my shoulder slightly. "At least it is something. You see, I tried so hard to get them to write something, but they just don't, and Malerie just copies everything. You at least wrote something on your own." He encourages me. It's a bit weird, I've never seen him so understanding and gentle before. He's completely out of character, just a few minutes ago, he was yelling at the members of his club and now... he's like a completely different person.

"I can't write a damn thing," I admit. "I never could, I'm a horrible writer." He frowns.

"Why did you join the Writers' club, then?" He asks me.

 _Shit_. I can feel the blood rushing into my cheeks already and I know that I'm bright red right now. I can't just tell him: _I joined because I have a huge crush on you and even though I can't write even a stupid poem, I wanted to be close to you._ But it doesn't matter anyway, because I've been quiet for too long. He just looks at me a bit suspiciously and shakes his head slightly. I'd give anything in the world to know what is he thinking right now.

"Never mind." He says then and looks at the paper I gave him again.

"Honestly, the only thing that I can write, are songs." I say after a while. "I haven't written many of them, I just like to sing my own lyrics to some songs because I love singing."

He looks at me, amused. "Really?" He asks. "Well, writing is just like singing." I frown a little and look at him. "Just let the emotions guide you and before you know it, you have a whole page written down. It's really an amazing feeling." He adds and smiles to himself.

Suddenly I get an idea. It's just as if a light bulb suddenly appeared above my head and before I know it, I'm practically asking him out, even when he might not realize it. "Hey, do you think... that you could maybe... help me?" I hesitate a bit.

"With what?" He asks.

"Writing." I quickly say. "You know, you could c-come over and show me how do _you_ write and help me with it..." I say. "It'd be n-nice..." I quietly add.

"Eh, I'm sorry," He says. "I have absolutely no time today, we print tomorrow and those fuckers didn't do a damn thing." He rolls his eyes and hops down off the table. "But, th-thanks for the... story that you wrote. For trying."

"Um, you're welcome." I smile. "And I didn't say it had to be today, it could be this week, or next week, whenever you want." I add. I'd really like it if he came over.

"Oh, well then," He says and it seems like he's thinking hard about this. "Okay." He says finally. My heart skips a beat. Really? Did he really just agree to come to my house and show me how to write? Oh my God, I think he can see the excitement on my face.

"Th-thanks!" I smile and try to sound like I'm not freaking out. Except that I actually _am_ freaking out, _a lot._ "Thanks," I say. Then I immediately realize that I've already said that. "Okay!" I quickly add and turn towards the door. "B-Bye!" I call at him and quickly close the door. I saw the confusion on his face when I started to stutter with excitement. I hope he doesn't know why was I freaking out like that.

And I hope it'll stay that way. At least until I want him to know.


	5. Your Teenage Dream

You might wonder why I agreed to go out with that new kid Blaine. Yes, I said go out, and yes, I know what he's trying to do. It's hard to miss really. After he left and I started to write the Chronicle, I went to the bathroom and guess who I found there! SCOTT THOMAS and NICHOLAS FORBES making out! Take a minute to breathe – I needed to.

I guess I wasn't that surprised to find them there after all, but after I made them write for my Chronicle, it suddenly hit me. The way Blaine was looking at me, or when he said that he wanted to join the Writers' club and when I asked him why, when he himself said that he can't write... he turned red like tomato and was staring at me as if I had just told him that Malerie has a footage of him naked.

I can't really blame him, I mean – I'm very attractive and beyond talented, and he's new at school so he doesn't know me that well yet. I don't know, should I try it with him? Maybe he could turn into a good friend if nothing else.

I thought I was gay for about a week once (I think everyone does at one point). But I think it was just the girls _around me_ that I found repulsive. But I don't necessarily consider myself a virgin, probably because I have such a penetrating personality. And do I really want to experience something like intercourse or just a relationship for the first time with someone in Clover? Whom I'll awkwardly be connected to for the rest of my life? How would I get to Northwestern then without a break up, really.

I sigh and cover myself with a blanket. It's after midnight and I can't get my own brain to shut up. It just keeps thinking about Blaine.

_Blaine. Blaine. Blaineeee..._

xoXOXox

_Kurt. Kurt. Kuuuuurt..._

I can't stop thinking about him. I'm lying in my bed and it's already past midnight. I still can't believe it, he actually _agreed_ to come over and show me how to write! Should I show him how to sing in exchange? Maybe...

But what song should I sing then? I've only written two songs so far, Rise and This Time, but I have a few ideas for more. I don't think I should sing him my own songs though, rather something that he already knows. Teenage Dream? Maybe? Or is it too romantic? Maybe he would think then that he really makes me feel like I'm living a teenage dream. Which is actually quite true...

Oh God, what have I done? I won't be able to control myself, either I'll start kissing him the first time he's too close or I'll blush in front of him again and embarrass myself. Ugh.

I feel my eyes slowly closing... Maybe I'll dream about Kurt. I hope I'll dream about Kurt...

Gosh, I'm dreaming about Kurt.

_Kuuurt._

xoXOXox

It took two days till I finally called Blaine and told him that I'm free to go to his house. It's Wednesday and it's after dinner, but I really had no time any earlier. Since Ms. Sharpton told me today that I had to do a literary magazine to better my chances in getting to Northwestern, I wasn't able to think about anything else. I'm still thinking about it. I've already managed to get a permission from the principal and money from my mother, now all I have to do is the peer participation, and I have no idea how the hell am I going to manage that. And the ASSembly is tomorrow. No, that's not a typo, I say "ASSembly" because it brings out the ass in everyone who attends.

So I guess I could use a little distraction, especially after I just found out that I was drugged half of my childhood, and that's why I'm standing in front of Blaine's house with a paper in my hand. There's his address on it that he told me when I called him half an hour ago. He doesn't live that far away from my house.

After a minute or so the door opens and Blaine's head peeks out. He grins and says, "Hi, Kurt." I have to admit, he's adorable right now. He looks like he has no idea what he's doing and neither do I.

"Hey," I say and come inside.

"My room is this way," he gestures to the stairs and adds, "my parents aren't home tonight, so you'll be spared of meeting my father."

"Is your dad _that_ bad?" I ask, already following him upstairs. He doesn't turn around, probably to hide the hurt on his face when he says:

"He wasn't really a great dad. But it got worse since I came out of the closet and told him I was gay-" Bingo, I was right, he's definitely after me. "-and sometimes it feels like he doesn't even care if I died tomorrow." Blaine continues.

"Don't worry." I smile slightly. "I have shitty parents too. Mom's unstable since dad left us when I was ten. I swear the whole neighborhood remembers that night." I hear him chuckle softly. Then he quickly adds _I'm sorry_ and finally opens the door to his room.

It isn't a big one, but it's definitely bigger than mine. And it's really clean, probably because he hasn't properly moved in yet. There is a pile of boxes in the corner of the room, with only a few books and school stuff out. And a little piano near his desk. It's quite lovely.

"Um, sorry for those boxes," he mumbles and gestures to them. "I have a lot of stuff and I haven't finished unpacking them all yet."

"It's okay," I say, "you didn't see my room, that's something completely different." I smile at him. He smiles back. "So," I clear my throat and sit on his bed. "Where do we start?" I ask.

"I don't know," he admits and looks at me, completely lost. I look at him too and suddenly he blushes and clears his throat, quickly looking away. I chuckle. It's so obvious that he likes me, it's right on his face.

Suddenly I stand up and sit to the piano.

"You can play?" He asks amused.

"Not a single note." I answer and place my hands gently on the white and black keys. It's a bit weird, I've never even touched a piano before. My parents were always arguing, there was simply no time for music, and I never even thought about it.

I push one of the keys down and it makes a sound. It's quite nice. I look around and see some papers with some musical notes on them. I take them.

"What are those?" I ask.

"Um, just a few songs I like to play. Plus some that I wrote myself." He says and looks a bit embarrassed. I ignore him and put them in front of me. I have no idea what to do with my hands, or how to read those small black points on the paper, but I can read the words that Blaine has written there.

_These walls and all these picture frames_ _  
_ _Every name they show_ _  
_ _These halls I've walked a thousand times_ _  
_ _Heartbreaks and valentines, friends of mine all know_ _._

It continues a few more paragraphs down to the end of the paper and even on the other side of it. I have to admit, it's quite good. If he started writing poems like this, I would gladly add them to the Chronicle. "What song is this?" I ask.

"Oh, it's called 'This Time'." He says, "I wrote it, but it's not finished yet." He quickly adds and takes another chair to sit next to me. "Do you want me to play it?" He asks.

"I don't know," I honestly answer. I don't want to stay here too long, I should think of what to say on tomorrow's ASSembly, but it's been nice here so far. "Maybe this one?" I say, pulling out another paper. It's called Teenage Dream. I look at him and I can see that he's a bit nervous. He shifts in his seat and finally gets up, mumbling silently _okay._

I stand up and we switch chairs, so he can sit closer to the piano. He sits down and puts his fingers on the keys. He takes a deep breath and slowly starts playing.

I have to admit, it's beautiful. The sound that he's able to create just from touching the right keys. And then he starts singing.

_Before you met me, I was alright_ _  
_ _But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life_ _  
_ _Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine_

_Let's go all the way tonight_ _  
_ _No regrets, just love_ _  
_ _We can dance until we die_ _  
_ _You and I, we'll be young forever_

I don't know how to describe this. For the first time in my entire life, words just aren't enough because his voice is... it sounds like... I don't know. I can't find the right words. For the first time I don't know what words to use and that scares me just a little bit, but then I look at him and listen to his voice again and it's all gone.

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_ _  
_ _The way you turn me on, I can't sleep_ _  
_ _Let's runaway and don't ever look back_ _  
_ _Don't ever look back_

And suddenly I know why he was so nervous before he started playing. Am I his teenage dream?

_My heart stops when you look at me_ _  
_ _Just one touch, now baby I believe_ _  
_ _This is real, so take a chance_ _  
_ _And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_I'mma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans_ _  
_ _Be your teenage dream tonight_ _  
_ _Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans_ _  
_ _Be your teenage dream tonight_

Then he stops and slowly looks at me, shyly. I'm still staring at him, so I quickly clear my throat and smile a bit.

"So?" He asks. "What do you think?" He turns to me completely. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. He just keeps looking at me, waiting for me to answer and I hate myself for admitting this, but maybe I was wrong. I think I'll have to reconsider what I stated earlier – I said that I thought I was gay for about a week once, and that it was just girls around me that I found repulsive. I said that I didn't want a relationship because I thought it would just get everything even more complicated. What I didn't think about was that maybe, _maybe_ I just didn't know the right person.

Maybe I really _am_ lonely.

"Kurt?" He asks again; he looks a bit worried.

"Yes!" I recover from the moment of uncertainty and look away. "Um, yes, it wasn't bad, now do you want me to tell you how to write or not?" I say and sit on the other side of his bed. He sits next to me and for a few seconds it makes me wonder if this is what it feels like to be on one of those girls' slumber parties. Not that I would ever want to be on one, I just don't get what are they talking about the whole time. Nails? Hair? Orgies?

"So," He starts. "I've found a few old Chronicles in the art classes yesterday and I couldn't help but read a few articles."

Oh, art classes. So Dwayne really wasn't lying, they use it to papier-mâché things. I guess I was right when I thought that he's too braindead to be purposely snarky.

"Really?" I ask after a while. "Well, seems like you're first, because no one reads the Chronicle anyway."

"And I really like your style." He smiles at me, ignoring my last comment. "I've never tried to write anything, but after I have, on Sunday, I can't help but wonder how are you able to put all those words together?" He's gesturing with his hands a bit awkwardly. "It's amazing."

"Well, like I told Malerie, don't try to find the ideas, let the ideas find you." I say. Honestly I don't even know what I'm talking about, but it's nice to try to explain it to someone who's willing to listen. "It's one of the most amazing experiences, finding something to write about, or realizing something for the first time. It comes out of nowhere and just hits you. Then it's all you can think about and it goes through your body and tries to escape and be expressed in any way possible... It's a lot like... like..."

"Lightning?" Blaine asks me, and when I smile at him I suddenly realize how close he is.

"Yeah," I say, my voice is just barely above a whisper. "Like lightning." I continue staring at him. His eyes are so warm and kind. It almost looks as if Green and Brown have met and started a battle for dominance. I slightly feel my head leaning towards him, as if he was a magnet and I couldn't resist him.

_Maybe I've been lonely for too long._

And that's it. That's the moment that I really didn't expect to happen tonight because I look at his lips and gosh, his lips look delicious. I have never _ever_ thought like that about any person before and it scares me a little, but when I close my eyes and in the next second our lips are touching, I don't care. In that moment I don't care that I have to worry about my future and the literary magazine. I don't care that I'll have to break up with him if we start dating to get to Northwestern, in that moment, all that matters is that I've never kissed anyone before and that his lips are just as delicious as they looked like just a few seconds ago.

The time stops. Everything's silent. It's just me and him and his fingers in my hair and my hands on his cheeks. I can't make myself stop when he starts moving his lips against mine, so I do the same. It's like the beauty of the whole universe focused its magical power only here, between us.

...

...

Suddenly as if a giant supernova exploded in my head and I realize what I'm doing. I'm kissing a boy that I met just a few days ago. In his room. On _his bed_.

I immediately break the kiss and stare at him wide-eyed.

_OH MY GOD._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you liked how the chapter ended ;)


	6. Regret or Love?

The passion he talks with when he talks about writing, finding ideas, is incredible. It looked like he wasn't sure what to say, but once he started it seems like he can't stop. And I can't stop watching his dreamy, dreamy face.

"Lightning?" I say, and notice how close I am to him. Closer than before, but I'm not sure when exactly did I lean closer. He looks at me, with those two crystal blue eyes and dark long eyelashes. He smiles and whispers.

"Yeah. Like lightning." We stare at each other, a little longer to be just friends, but I can't take my eyes off of him and it seems like neither can he.

He leans a bit closer and looks down, at my lips. And that's the moment I lose it. I lean in and capture his lips in a long, breathless kiss. It's not a big deal, not yet, our lips are just touching and our eyes are closed. But soon that's not enough anymore and I start moving my lips a little against his.

After a second, he starts doing the same and puts his hands on my cheeks, pulling me a bit closer. I let my hands wonder into his fabulous hair and enjoy every second of this magical moment.

It's as if the time stopped and everything went silent. It's just us and our hands and lips and _oh my god how come I'm so lucky to get a kiss from my crush in the first week._

Suddenly he pulls away sharply. My eyes are still closed for a second longer and when I look up at him, his eyes are wide as the dishes that we have after my grandma, and believe me, those are really giant dishes.

He stares at me, and he looks a bit frightened and confused and he just keeps staring at me like that and- Oh my God, he probably didn't want to kiss me! Jesus, and I kissed him like _that_? He's gonna hate me now!

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Kurt!" I quickly say. "I'm so so so sorry, I didn't mean this to happen!" My heart is racing and his expression stays unchanged. What is he going to think about me now?

"I-" He swallows hard and looks down and then back at me, his eyes are still wide. "I-I h-have to go." He stutters, but stays on my bed.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry," I whisper. He looks at me again and suddenly stands up and hurries down the stairs. I get up and try to follow him, but by the time I get out of the room, he's already closing the main door.

Great, he's gone.

Oh my God I'm such a moron! _What_ the _hell_ was I even thinking? _Why_ did I kiss him? Because it looked like he wanted me to kiss him? But he didn't, oh my God, Blaine, you're such a moron, seriously!

xoXOXox

I shut the door behind me and run to my old car. My heart is still racing and my hands a bit shaking and I have no idea what the hell was _that_ and why the hell did I do it. _Why?_

My hands are doing something out of a habit, but I don't know what that is. I stop and look down and notice that the key is already in the ignition and the left passenger window is open. I quickly turn the radio to a Spanish classics station and finally start my car. It doesn't start until all those three things are in place, don't ask how long it took me to figure out this combination.

If you think that I'm driving home, you're wrong more than Galileo when he thought that Saturn's rings are actually two large moons. Home is the last place where I want to be now.

I don't even now where exactly am I driving, I just drive and drive wherever I can. _Away_.

Fuuuck! I forgot my bag in Blaine's room! Well, that's... fuck. I have to go back because mom's gonna be already passed out on the couch by the time I arrive home and the keys to the front door stayed in my bag. Well, today couldn't get any better now, could it?

I stop the car, but don't turn around. Not yet.

That... _that_ was my first kiss. _First_ kiss ever. I never could have imagined that it would be so... so _perfect_. I thought I wasn't gay, but apparently I was wrong. Again. Great.

I touch my lips with my fingertips. I can still feel his lips on mine; it's a bit odd feeling, but I won't say that I don't like it, I would be lying.

I still have to go back. I groan and look up at the sky. The stars are already shining, but I don't give a fuck about stars now, seriously. I've got different stuff to think about. Like the literary magazine, and Blaine, the ASSembly and _Blaine_ , and Blaine and- shit. Why can't my own brain shut up about him already?! I didn't ask for this, it's not my fault, _he_ kissed me, it was _him_!

But I started it, it was I who leaned in first... God, why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong? Why did he have to move to Clover, couldn't his parents just skip this shit-town at the end of the world and go somewhere else?

I sigh and start the car again. It's already been half an hour since I left him there and I don't want to arrive after his parents do.

Twenty minutes later and I'm standing in front of his house. Again. There's no another car in sight, so his parents aren't home yet, at least something goes according to the plan. I walk to the main door and ring the bell.

The door immediately opens and Blaine stares at me. He doesn't talk, just stares.

I clear my throat. "I forgot my bag in your room." I say and walk inside, not waiting for any invitation.

"S-sure," he says and follows me upstairs. Once I'm in the room, he starts apologizing again. "Look, I'm so sorry for what happened earlier, I didn't mean to kiss you, I really didn't, I-"

"Oh shut up finally," I snap. "I know you did!" I yell. He takes a step back and I briefly close my eyes. I don't know why I snapped, something just broke inside me and I couldn't help it. "Look," I start, trying to calm myself down a bit. I sit on the bed again. _That same bed._ "I know, okay?" I look up at him. His eyes are fearful and a bit filled with tears. "I know you have a crush on me, alright?" He opens his mouth, but I raise a hand to stop him. "I've known for almost three days." I finish.

"How-" he wants to ask, but can't finish the sentence.

I laugh slightly. "It's hard to miss, really." I say and look up at him again.

"Do you hate me?" He asks suddenly. His voice is so small and vulnerable.

"No, no I don't hate you." I quickly say. I can see how relieved he is. "I thought I did hate you for a few minutes though." I add and he slumps. He slowly sits on the other side of the bed, as far from me as possible, and lets his chin rest on his knees.

I take a deep breath, put my bag over my shoulder and stand up. "I'm so sorry, Kurt." He whispers behind me, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"I know you are." I say and leave the room. And the house. I sit in my car that my grandpa left me after he passed away and finally drive home.

I have nothing more to say and a lot to think about till I fall asleep. _If_ I can even fall asleep tonight. The most important thing to me now is the ASSembly, literary magazine and getting to Northwestern at all cost.

Nothing else matters.


	7. A Surprise In Your Locker

The ASSembly is today. I'm so nervous that I started biting my nails a bit, but I stop. My nails are not to blame. The ASSembly as always takes place in the auditorium. As a student council member, I'm sitting onstage during the ASSembly and right now I'm staring up at the ceiling with my eyes the size of tennis balls. Seriously, it's a lot more interesting than whatever coach Colin wants to say right now.

"Tomorrow night at our homecoming game, let's show Lincoln High what Clover is all about!" He says, rising a fist high in the air. "Let's pull a John Wilkes Booth on Lincoln High!"

The eruption that follows is insanely loud. Then Couch Colin runs through the auditorium, giving high fives to anyone around and finally leaves.

Remy is next at the podium and to my surprise, she got a round of applause. Maybe my announcement won't be that bad after all. As soon as she starts talking though, I spot someone in the crowd that I almost forgot about.

Blaine is sitting there, looking straight at me, not moving. He's right next to Malerie, who has her camcorder safe in her hands, recording everything. Suddenly I can't take my eyes off of him because it brings out all of my previous doubts and feelings. Actually, he reminds me of the whole yesterday and what happened.

His room, the piano, his beautiful voice, brown loving eyes, the bed, our _kiss_. I'm still not sure if I'm gay or not, and I'm not even sure what I want to be. But I'll admit, the whole sex thing is one area of my life I haven't fully investigated... Do I want to investigate it with Blaine though?

I don't care who you are – gay, straight, bisexual, black, white, purple, cat, dog or pigeon. I'd just like to finally know who exactly _I_ am. I don't like being confused like this, but I don't like labels either. I just _don't know_ and I really don't like not knowing.

Suddenly I realize that Frodo (that's Remy because she's really short) is finally over and so I stand up and walk to the mic.

"Hello, future farmers and inmates." I say, "I'm Carson Phillips, from the Clover High Chronicle, and I'm here with some very exciting news! This year for the first time ever, Clover High will release its first literary magazine!" I clap, but I'm alone.

Well, at least I got their attention. Perfect. "Now, I know most of you can't read, let alone write." I continue. "But for all the secret writers out there, please submit any original work into the box outside the journalism classroom and it will be published." It doesn't look like they understand, so I add, "Poems, essays, short stories… hit lists, anything!"

The whole auditorium is still quiet. "Thank you. God bless."

I go back to my chair on the podium and then the principal goes and says some shit into the mic, I don't really care. Even though I don't want to, but my eyes unintentionally wander to where Blaine with Malerie are sitting. Again.

He's looking down this time – it looks like he's playing with something in his hands, but I don't think that that's important. I wish I could sit there with him and look at his face and say that I actually liked that kiss. _Our_ kiss. Maybe... maybe I do want to investigate with Blaine a little and be in a relationship. I still can't be sure though, the only thing I can think about now without completely confusing myself is getting into Northwestern and that's why I'm doing all of this.

xoXOXox

I walk out of the auditorium as soon as the assembly ends. I can't face Kurt again, it would be really awkward. And he doesn't even like me, so with that kiss I might have completely ruined my first friendship in Clover before it even fully started. He said that he doesn't hate me though, so maybe it's not over yet and maybe we can be friends again. Some day.

But for today, I don't want to talk to him. Well, I want to, but I don't think that he wants to talk to me.

After school, I see the box that Kurt was talking about earlier. And it looks exactly how I thought it would. It doesn't say 'Literary magazine' anymore, someone got creative and changed it to 'Shiterary magazine'. I carefully open it and look inside and it's full of used tissues, toilet paper, candy wrappers and a used gum. Even a half-eaten hamburger is in there! I can already see Kurt's disappointed face.

Yesterday when Kurt left, I wrote him a letter. I don't have his number and even if I had, it wouldn't be that personal to just text him. I want him to know that I'm serious. I just want him to read it and understand even when it's mostly just nonsense. The letter is already closed and tied with a tiny red bow tie so I won't open it before he does.

Firstly, I wanted to just put it into that box and wait until he finds it, but now I think that it's much better idea to put the letter into his locker. At least I know where _that_ is.

I go back into the school and find the hallway where Kurt's locker is. I look around, but I don't see anybody, it's after school after all and Kurt's probably in the journalism classroom I guess. I walk closer to his locker and put the letter out of my bag.

I look at it for the last time, kiss it on the bow tie and finally put it inside.

xoXOXox

What the hell was I thinking?! I shouldn't have spoken on the assembly! I was so foolish to think that I had actually inspired people! When I went to collect the submission box from outside and brought it into the journalism classroom where Malerie was already waiting, I thought that the box was full of stories and articles and stuff, but of course not!

It was just a kilogram of toilet paper, tissues, candy wrappers, even half-eaten hamburger and other things that I still don't recognize and something tells me that I don't even want to. They used it as a hazardous-waste basket. It didn't even say Literary magazine anymore, as Malerie pointed out, it was now a Shiterary magazine! Some asshole got apparently creative with a Sharpie. I'm so disappointed. At least Blaine could have written something!

But I'm not going to give up. Malerie said that she caught Coach Colin Walker and Claire Mathews bonking each other in the boys' locker room and actually showed me a footage of what she had seen. When I said that she films everything, I meant it.

I'm already blackmailing Nicholas and Scott and this is just an idea, but if I get too desperate, I can start blackmailing Claire and Coach too. In fact, I could easily get dirt on a lot of students and blackmail all of them... It would be called... the "Operation Clovergate". Now _that_ would be perfect.

After I finish painting all the pieces for our float for tomorrow's Homecoming with Malerie, I leave the journalism classroom and go to my locker to get a few stuff. It's been a long day and I'm happy that I can finally go home. Even when all I'm gonna find there is just my mom, sleeping on the couch in a mess of food and alcohol and her pills, all mixed together on the table and floor.

The school is already empty and silent and the trenches don't even smell that bad like they always do (I say 'trenches' because if the smell in the hallways after lunch on burrito day isn't gas warfare, I don't know what is).

I go to my locker and open it.

There's a small letter waiting inside, carefully wrapped in blue paper with a tiny bow tie on top. I look at it a little confused, but when I open it, I immediately recognize Blaine's handwriting. I sigh and roll my eyes. Maybe I _should have_ talked to him today.

The letter says:

_Dear Kurt,_

_I know that I've said this many times before, but I'm deeply sorry for what happened in my room. You were right, I have a crush on you, but I won't apologize for that because that's not something that I can control. I liked you the first moment that I saw you in the hallway, yelling at everybody that there's no 'H' in suck. I joined your Writers' club even when I'm horrible in writing, just to be closer to you and when you agreed to go to my house, my affection for you took over._

_I'm sorry for making you feel forced and uncomfortable. I know you said that you don't hate me, but I feel guilty and I just want you to know that if it's possible, I want to make things right again._

_If you want to be friends even after what I did to you, please meet me tonight in the park behind my house at 10pm. If you won't come, I won't bother you again and leave the Writers' club, if you want me to._

_With love, Blaine._


	8. My Perfect Boyfriend

It's almost 10pm and I'm leaning against a tree in the park behind Blaine's house. The minute I found out that he wanted to meet me, I knew that I just had to go and tell him. Tell him that I like him back and that I shouldn't have run away from his room like that.

It's already dark, the only source of light are the high lamps above my head, but Blaine's nowhere to be found. I know that it's not exactly the time yet, but I can't wait to see him. I'm actually excited to see him again and talk to him. Honestly. And that's never happened to me before.

Tomorrow is Homecoming and I should mostly prepare for that because I and Malerie still have to put all those painted pieces together and hopefully get someone to join us before it all starts. But my mind is completely clouded when I see Blaine coming into the park through the main gate.

He doesn't see me yet, but I'm already on my way to him. I have to tell him everything, and most of all that I liked the kiss. That I want to be in a relationship. Tell him how much he's changed me. How much I want to kiss him again.

I walk faster and faster towards him, I'm almost running now. "Kurt?" He says and smiles when he sees me. God it's taking too long, I start to run. "Kurt, what's-"

I don't give him a chance to finish the sentence because I immediately jump at him and kiss him. I can feel how tensed and shocked he is at first, but after a second he relaxes and returns the kiss with just as much force and passion as me. My second kiss and I'm already desperate and can't think of anything else, just my lips on his, his tongue in my mouth and his fingers running through my hair and his hands caressing my back again, just like in his room, only better.

I think I finally know who I am. Yes, I'm gay. And I don't care because nothing matters when I feel Blaine so close to me. If this is what love really feels like, I don't want it to ever end – it's like being enchanted. And I'll admit that I'm scared because I never wanted to be enchanted in the first place, but I think that when I'm enchanted together with Blaine, it doesn't matter anymore because there's two of us against the world, it's not just me alone as it always used to be.

I don't know if it's seconds or minutes, it could be hours. I've lost track of time, when I'm with him and he's kissing me like _that_ , I don't even care if it's already after midnight.

We finally break the kiss and we're both panting, looking into each other's eyes. He grins at me and I can't help but grin back.

"What changed?" He asks me, still holding me close.

"I did," I say. "I lied. I liked our kiss in your room, I guess I just wasn't prepared for that yet."

"For what?"

"For being in a relationship, silly." I laugh. He kisses me again and I put my arms around his shoulders. "You take my breath away." I close my eyes and whisper against his cheek. Then I look into his brown eyes again.

"So you want to be boyfriends?" He asks, a bit unsure. I nod my head.

"Yes, yes I want to!" I smile again and ask, "Do... Do I really make you feel like you're living a teenage dream?" I remember the song he sang to me and how emotional he was when he was singing those words.

This time it's his turn to laugh and he looks at me adoringly. "Kurt, you _are_ my teenage dream." He whispers, tightening his hold on me.

"God, I love how you call me Kurt even when no one else does." I say.

"I know," he smiles, leans forward and kisses me again. That's officially four kisses in one week! I hope it'll be more since we're now actually boyfriends. "I love kissing you." He says and presses his forehead against mine.

"I love kissing you too."

xoXOXox

It's been one hour since I saw Kurt running towards me in the park. Eventually we agreed that it was getting really late and I walked him to his car. We kissed a few more times, we were watching the stars too, and talking about everything from how many kids I wanted to have as an adult to which ice-cream flavor he likes.

Then he drove home and I went back home too. It's been a lovely evening. I thought I'd lost Kurt forever, but actually I have him now more than I ever hoped I would. He's not only my crush now, he is my boyfriend. _Boyfriend._ Gosh that sounds so weird. He's now officially mine and I admit I _love_ that feeling.

I smile and close my eyes. I'm lying in my bed and it's 12:30am, but I can't sleep. The whole evening just keeps playing in my head over and over. His arms around my shoulders, my fingers in his hair, the taste of his lips, all of it.

Suddenly, my phone rings. I look at it and smile when I see Kurt's name on the screen. He gave me his number earlier today.

"Hi," I say when I pick up the phone.

"Hi," I hear him smiling. "I can't sleep."

"Me neither." I say. My parents are already sleeping and I told them that I was hanging out with a friend. I know that they know I'm gay, but I don't want my dad to find out that I have a boyfriend now, I'm still not sure how would he react. He may know about me, but I don't know how would he feel if he saw me actually acting on it.

"Why?" Kurt asks and I chuckle.

"Mostly because I'm thinking about you and how much I already miss you." I smile and roll over in the bed so I'm lying on my stomach now.

"Yeah," Kurt whispers. "Me too." I smile and for a few seconds we're both silent. "Will you go to the Homecoming tomorrow?" He suddenly asks and just by his tone I know that he's worried.

"Of course I'm coming," I answer. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Kurt says quickly and then sighs. "I just want everyone to know how amazing writing is and most of all I want to inspire them you know? To join my Writers' club and to write for my literary magazine." He admits.

"I know, but don't worry." I say. "This school has over four hundred people in it, someone has to be inspired by you."

"Not if all of them hate me." Kurt says bitterly.

"Hey, it's only 398. I'm sure Malerie doesn't hate you and I don't either because I know how amazing person you are." I say. "And kisser," I add and I don't see his face, but I can tell he's blushing.

"Oh, no I'm not," He protests cheerfully. "That kiss in your room was my first kiss in my life."

"Well, then you can consider yourself quite a good kisser, Kurt Carson Phillips, because I say so and I know more about kissing than you do."

"That's true," he laughs. "Maybe you could write about kissing me in my literary magazine."

"Maybe I could," I laugh. I can hear him yawn and I have to laugh again. "I can see someone's sleepy," I murmur.

"I might be, but I know that you are too." He says.

"No, I'm no-" suddenly I have the biggest urge to yawn so I can't even finish the sentence. I hear Kurt laughing on the other side of the phone.

"See?" He laughs.

"Okay, okay," I admit. "But I want you to know that when I fall asleep, I'll be still thinking about you. About your arms wrapped around me, and your head on my chest."

"I'd love to do that." He says dreamily and yawns again. "Maybe one day I will."

"God, I hope so!" I smile.

"I can't wait to see you in school tomorrow." He whispers.

"Me neither. I know that school starts in a few hours, but it still feels so long without you." I smile and suddenly my eyelids are getting so incredibly heavy, I can't keep them open. I feel my eyes slowly closing not long after.

"See you tomorrow then, Blaine Anderson." I hear Kurt whisper again.

"Hmmm," I mumble sleepily and put my phone back on the table next to my bed when I hear that Kurt hung up. I fall back into my pillows and finally fall asleep, dreaming about my perfect, perfect boyfriend.


	9. The Homecoming

This is possibly the first day in the history of myself, Kurt Carson Phillips, that I have woken up with a smile on my face. And I don't mean that evil one as if I was planning something, I mean the genuine, happy smile. And who wouldn't be smiling? I have a boyfriend now, boyfriend! And I thought that I would never want something like this, girlfriend _or_ a boyfriend. I've been always so focused on fulfilling my dream of getting to Northwestern that I never thought about this – my love life. And I didn't even want to think about that, but now...

Now it's different. I'm still focused on my dream and all of that, but I have someone to be focused with. I have someone who wants to help me and who actually cares about me, because let's be honest – my whole family sucks. My mom mostly spends her life on the couch these days and it's a miracle if she actually makes it out of the house. She has become known as 'that lady who grocery shops in her bathrobe and sunglasses.' My dad is gone and I've only seen him twice since he left and then there's my grandma. I try to visit her every day in the Clover Assisted Living Home, but she doesn't remember who I am. She only remembers me as that young sweet boy she always loved.

I've always felt like no one ever cares about me, but now that I have Blaine by my side, everything's somehow better, brighter and happier. All of a sudden, life doesn't suck that much as it used to.

The whole day in school I can't wait for the Homecoming that's tonight. I keep talking about it with Blaine and even though he doesn't have any costume, he agreed to help me and Malerie with our float.

Everything today is so nice! Everything seems normal and I actually understand the lesson in Algebra 2. I even held Blaine's hand several times (but always carefully so people don't see us, Blaine doesn't want his dad to know that we're together). Today I'm actually in a good mood, and believe me, that's a rare thing.

Then the Homecoming finally starts I get a bit excited _and_ nervous. I'm standing here, next to my float with Malerie and Blaine. I'm wearing my giant number two pencil costume and Malerie is dressed as a giant notepad.

"Yeah," I say. We made a giant notebook that actually opened and closed that said _The Writers' Club_ , and on the inside said _It's the Write Club for You!_ "We tried selling some ad space to local businesses," I tell Blaine, looking inside our notebook. "But I had no takers."

"I'm having second thoughts about this outfit." Malerie suddenly says, looking at herself. "These horizontal lines aren't very flattering."

"You look fine, Malerie." I say. I didn't spend two hours creating an authentic notepad for her to get cold feet _now._

"At least you have a costume," Blaine says, looking at us and then at himself.

"I like your bow tie." Malerie points at his blue bow tie, matching to his dark blue trousers. I smirk. He looks much better than I and Malerie do together.

We take a step back to admire our float once the final touch has been added. "It isn't perfect, but it's nice. I like it." Blaine smiles and pats me on the shoulder. And I have to agree. Sure, we don't have a budget for a rolling Roman Colosseum like the cheerleaders have, or the means to rent a Corvette like the yearbook douches did, but we are proud of ourselves nonetheless.

Suddenly the Contraception Claire (yes I call her that, in my mind at least) strides up to our float, wearing stilettos and a pink gown.

"You look like shit," I say, looking at her. She doesn't seem too bothered by that insult.

"Why couldn't I have worn something like that?" Malerie asks behind me. I ignore her and look at Claire again. Unfortunately she was nominated for homecoming queen this year.

"I don't know what you're wearing, but I have some bad news." She says, looking straight at me. "The truck pulling the cheerleaders' float, its engine just broke down, so we're taking yours." She smiles and turns around as if _nothing just happened._

"Excuse me?!" I say, feeling actual steam emitting from my ears.

She looks back at me and says, "I'm sorry, but homecoming is nothing without the cheerleading float."

"Well, then go take the athletes' truck away," Blaine says and comes closer.

Claire's looking at him suspiciously long, so I come closer to her and say right into her face, "Blaine's right, they pride themselves on running around like mules anyway!" Ahh and there goes my good mood. Now I'm furious! Is she kidding me?!

"I'm sorry, my decision is final," she says with a smile so fake my left eye starts to twitch and simply walks away.

My insides starts boiling. She can't do this to me – this is my last shot at making the literary magazine. I start pacing nervously, there just _has_ to be something we can do now. We can't just give up, I _won't_ give up, I can't let that happen.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I don't even have to turn around to know that it's Blaine. He squeezes, probably to comfort me, but I don't need comforting now. I need to do something! "Don't worry Kurt, we'll think of something." Blaine says.

"At least we had fun making it." Malerie sighs, looking around.

"No," I say firmly and stop dead in my tracks. "They're gonna see this float if it kills me." I forcefully put my giant pink eraser on my head (a part of my costume) and storm off toward the other floats.

"Nice costume!" Some shithead who's sweeping the pavement calls after me.

"Nice life!" I shout back at him.

xoXOXox

I find a rope that the cheerleaders tossed aside and get an idea. I bet you think I went on a strangling rampage after that. Well, that was my first idea, but the second one is better. I go back to our float – Blaine and Malerie are still standing there, looking worried when they see me.

Without a word I tie the rope to the front of our float and from this moment on, my body is running on pure adrenaline. I feel like the Hulk! (The Mark Ruffalo Hulk, not those other guys.) I don't care what happens now – if the school burns down or a meteor hits Clover (actually that meteor would probably do the rest of the world a huge favor). I don't care if all the teachers laugh at me, this just _has to work._ And it _will._

As soon as Blaine sees what I'm doing, he goes to me and helps me tie the rope tighter. "Kurt, you're a genius, this might actually work!" He smiles at me. Malerie's just looking at us with a lost gaze – she has no idea what are we doing. Well, she'll find out, and soon.

"It has to work." I say and finally finish it.

The game starts, fireworks burst in the sky (which I'm assuming means we are winning or have entered some kind of war). The band starts playing cheesy melodies from the seventies and homecoming finally begins.

And it's horrible _._ I'm _pulling_ the Writers' Club float with Blaine, dressed as a fucking pencil across the field. Malerie is dressed as a giant notepad, operating the giant notebook on top of our float and waving to the crowd. The crowd is roaring uncontrollably at the cheerleaders passing by and they're whistling and smiling, but the second they notice us, they all go dead silent.

It's so quiet that all that they can hear are my and Blaine's grunts and swearing while we're pulling the float. "Yeah, Writers' Club! Woo-hoo!" Malerie shouts enthusiastically and continues waving.

And then the horror begins. I feel like I could die – no kidding. At first it's just a quiet rumble of snickering, but then it grows into an eruption of giggling and then evolves into an explosion of laughter. And it's everyone – the parents, the students, the faculty, etc. They're all pointing at us and laughing hysterically.

" _SCREW YOU!"_ I scream at them and continue to pull the float with Blaine by my side. _Oh my God, is this really happening? Am I actually doing this? Is this how I'm going to be remembered for the rest of my life?_ I finally finish pulling the float off the field. I'm sweating profusely, my face is as red as Mars, my hands are bleeding from the rope, and my body has become so stiff I can barely walk.

As soon as the float is off the field and I'm finally free, I drop the rope and stumble. I can feel Blaine's hands supporting me, while everyone's still laughing. I feel like it's all a dream, all the voices are blurred because I'm still so furious. I feel like I can't even breath.

"Hey, Kurt?" I hear Blaine's voice, but it's like it's coming from a distance. I know he's right next to me though. "Kurt, are you alright?" I hear him asking. He's looking into my eyes, but I can't bring myself to answer. I just shake my head, break free from his careful hold and rip off my pencil costume and then I run to my car at the student parking lot. He runs after me, but by the time he gets there, I'm already starting the car. "Kurt! Kurt-" He calls after me, but I can't hear the rest. I _don't_ want to hear the rest. I just want to be alone because everything's so _fucked up_ right now that I can't even think straight.

When I finally get home, my mom sees me limping slightly and asks, "Are you drunk?"

"Wasted." I answer and go straight to my bedroom where I collapse into my bed. The snide remarks from my peers, the discouraging comments from everyone else, and my own thoughts of doubt are on constant replay in my mind.

_I'm sorry, but homecoming is nothing without the cheerleading float!_

_No one reads the chronicle anyway._

_The art classes use it to papier-mâché things._

_You're young and naive. All those dreams still seem reachable._

The whole homecoming was my last chance for the literary magazine. I've tried everything, and achieved literary nothing. I got absolutely no one inspired and no one to write for me,... well, except for Nicholas and Scott, but I'm blackmailing them... wait.

There's still one thing that I haven't tried yet. Operation Clovergate! Because everyone has something to hide!

I immediately grab my cell phone and want to call Malerie, but it suddenly starts ringing. I look at the screen – it's Blaine. I sigh and reject the call. After I do that, a small message pops up: _You have four missed calls from Blaine Anderson._ Great. Anyway, I'll call him back later, he's probably just worried about me after the whole 'incident' at homecoming, and the Operation Clovergate is more important now.

I dial Malerie's number and wait for her response. As soon as I hear her pick it up, I say, "Malerie, it's Carson."

"Who?" She asks.

"Carson Phillips." I say.

"Oh, yeah, I knew."

"Operation Clovergate is in effect."


	10. The Big Mistake

Three times. It was three times that I've already tried to call him, but he hasn't answered yet. I know that he's probably still on his way home in his car, but still. If there is any chance that he didn't want to go home and stopped the car... well, then I just have to keep calling him.

I'm not going to lie – I'm worried. A lot. I know that the homecoming was a disaster and after all Kurt's been doing these past few years to get into Northwestern, he probably wants to be left alone because let's be honest – all he's achieved tonight was nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I don't want to be a pessimist, believe me I don't, but the whole school laughed at us and no one wants to write for him and help him with his magazine now. He must feel awful, and that's why I want to be there for him.

And when he almost fell before I caught him in my arms and when he started shaking his head after I asked him if he was okay... I can't leave him alone. I don't want him to be alone, I feel like I just need to be there for him.

I take my phone and try to call him again - I'm almost back home and because my parents didn't go to homecoming, I'm alone with just my phone in my hand. The call suddenly ends – he rejected the call! I stop walking.

"What?" I say out loud, staring at the device in my hand. I mean, why would he do that? If he saw that I was calling him, that means that he's already home and has his phone, and that means that he could have at least called me back and told me to leave him alone. I'm even more worried now!

I continue on my way home and finally get into my room. I fall into my bed and close my eyes. Today has been one hell of a day, and I'm exhausted. I desperately want to call Kurt again and make sure that he's really okay after tonight. We're boyfriends after all, he should tell me at least something. Even if he doesn't want to open up to me, he has to know that I'm worried. On the other hand, if he really wants to be left alone, I'll respect that and wait until he wants to talk to me himself.

I'll see him at school tomorr- wait, no I won't. It's Friday, so I'll just have to call him tomorrow again. Maybe we could hang out for a while and try to come up with any idea to make his literary magazine.

I'll tell my parents that I'm outside with a friend or something again. I hate lying to them, but I'm afraid that my dad won't like me having a boyfriend. My mom would be able to handle it... maybe. I don't know, she seemed quite okay with it after I came out to her and dad. But he started shouting that he never wanted to have a faggot for a son. I remember that night as if it was yesterday. I got so scared of him that I started crying, but my mom managed to calm him down. At least a bit. Later he said that he was okay with it, but I can tell that really he isn't.

I don't want to think about my parents though. I just have to hope that Kurt actually answers my calls tomorrow.

xoXOXox

When I wake up it's already late morning. For a second I panic that I'll be late for school, but then I realize that it's Saturday. Ah finally! I let my head fall back into my soft pillow and curl up in my warm blanket. I don't want to wake up yet, it's so comfortable in here!

But then I remember what happened yesterday and open my eyes, suddenly fully awake. Kurt was so upset when he left the homecoming, I just wanted to be there for him, but it seems that all those walls he has built up around himself over the years of being alone are going to be a little harder to break. I want him to open up to me, but only if he himself wants it. And I'll do anything to make him feel better about yesterday.

Suddenly my phone rings and I immediately grab it, answering the call.

"Kurt?" I say.

"Hi," he answers. I hear him swallow. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday." He continues, "I should've called you back, but I kinda wanted to be alone."

"Yeah, I got that," I laugh quietly. "But I want you to know that you don't have to be alone anymore. If you want to be, then sure, but if you need anything, I'll be here for you." I answer honestly . "Always." I add.

"Th-thanks," he says awkwardly. "Sorry, I don't say 'thanks' very often." He laughs. I laugh with him.

"That's okay." I say. "Hey, do you want to go grab some coffee or something?" I ask, hoping that he'll say yes.

"Sure!" I hear him smiling. "I know just the place!"

xoXOXox

One hour later and I'm hugging Kurt in front of some coffee shop that I've never been to. There are so many things in this city for me to discover, even when Kurt always says that it's in the corner of nothing and nowhere.

When I see him sitting to the table on the opposite side of me, waiting for the coffee that we ordered, I can't help but notice how happy Kurt seems. Just yesterday he was more upset than ever and now he's practically beaming.

"What is it?" I ask, smiling myself.

He looks up and asks, "what?" He's so adorable like this.

"Nothing, you just seem so happy after yesterday." I say. He looks down, apparently thinking about the homecoming. He's not happy about it, but it lasts only a second before he grins and looks back at me.

"I'm happy," he says. "Possibly for the first time in my life I'm happy because I have a plan how to make the literary magazine." He smiles at me and takes a sip of his coffee as soon as the waitress brings it to us.

"Really, how?" I ask, incredulous.

"Everyone has something to hide." He answers and chuckles. He seems proud of this idea.

"What do you mean?" I ask. I don't know why, but this seems a bit suspicious.

"Well, just this Monday," He starts all excited. "I caught Nicholas and Scott making out in the boys' bathroom. I promised not to tell anyone, but you won't tell this anybody else, right?" He asks.

"Uh, no," I say. "We're practically the same as them, secretly dating." I whisper after that. He smirks at me and takes my hand.

"At school maybe, but I really want to be your boyfriend at least outside the school." He smiles at me and strokes the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Of course," I smile back and put my other hand over his.

"Well, and I made them write for me in exchange for keeping my mouth shut." He says. Wait... what?

"What?" I ask and put my hand away. He rolls his eyes and takes another sip of his coffee.

"Look, I know that I'm probably the worst person here," he admits when he sees my expression. "And I know that this is probably the most selfish thing that I've ever done in my life, but I need it." He smiles at me, a bit unsure of himself suddenly.

"So you blackmail them?" I ask. I know that we know each other barely two weeks, but I felt like I know him already, and I didn't think that he would ever want to blackmail anyone.

"Yes, it's the only way, I told you – everyone hates me here and no one would ever want to write for me. It's the only possible option."

"But it's not right." I tell him. "You shouldn't take advantage of them like that, Kurt. Imagine if someone caught _us_ in that bathroom and blackmailed us."

"Uh no," he says, grimacing. "Not in that bathroom, I made sure not to use it ever again after I saw them there."

"Kurt," I say, looking closer into his blue eyes. "I'm serious here, it's not right to blackmail someone, especially someone who has to hide who he is or is still in the closet and afraid to come out." He keeps quiet, so I take his hand again and squeeze. "Kurt, look me in the eyes-" he slowly looks up, "-and tell me if it really feels right to do something like this." He keeps looking into my eyes, but doesn't say a word.

Suddenly he takes his hand away and stands up. "Where are you going?" I ask, standing up myself and taking my coffee.

"I don't need you to tell me what to do, Blaine, I know I have to do this and I plan to continue so I can have more submissions. I need all of them, any that I can get or I can never get to Northwestern, okay?" He says. "And I'd appreciate it if _you_ as my boyfriend supported me." He starts walking away, but I quickly grab his sleeve and turn him around.

"Kurt, I didn't say that I don't support you. I'll always want to help you and I really wish that you get to that school, but this... this just isn't right, you have to know that." I insist. I don't want to fight with him right after we got together, but blackmailing someone... God.

"I know that it isn't right," he says. "But do you honestly have any better idea how to do the magazine? Or how to get _any_ story or a poem at all from those dumbasses that our school is full of?" He asks and I have to shake my head because he's right, I don't have any better idea.

"I guess I can't stop you, can I," I sigh and he smiles, hugging me again. We stay like this for a couple of seconds before I pull away slightly, pressing my forehead against his. He looks down at my lips and my eyes automatically look at his lips too. "I shouldn't want to kiss you so bad right now, people might see." I whisper, leaning slightly closer.

"I guess... I guess that we'll have to take that risk," he whispers against my lips, finally closing the gab between us and kissing me. It isn't a long kiss, but it's sweet and beautiful.

He giggles silently and I _swear_ that it's the most adorable sound that I've ever heard. I chuckle again and he takes my hand, leading me happily out of the shop.

"Hey," I call at him, "that didn't change my mind, I hope you know that. I'm still not okay with that blackmailing plan of yours." He rolls his eyes, sighs and turns around to kiss me again.

"I know."


	11. The Most Perfect Moment

I know that blackmailing half the school isn't really the wisest decision to make because what if I get caught? What if Northwestern won't accept me because blackmailing is on my permanent record? You think that I didn't think about that? I have, I think about this all the time, but what other option do I have? Go to the school on my knees and beg anyone I meet to write at least two lines for the magazine? No, thanks, I'd rather go to give a bath to my grandma. Ugh and now I'm just making myself sick.

I love my grandma, but I really didn't have to imagine _that._

I don't want Blaine to try to convince me to stop the operation Clovergate, I know that I have to do it. And I know it's wrong, but Blaine will just have to get used to it because there is _nothing_ that I wouldn't do to get to Northwestern and away from this stinky town.

It's Monday, October 15, and I'm walking around the campus, looking for Blaine. I dismissed myself early from chemistry so Malerie and I (and Blaine) could get started with the operation. Today is officially the Clovergate Day One.

After ten minutes, I finally find him in his Spanish class. The door is opened and he's not sitting very far away, so I just call his name. (I don't bother with the teacher hearing me, she's an 80 year old woman who can't see shit in front of her without her double glasses and has to have a hearing aid to hear anything. The only reason she's still teaching is because she kicks ass in Spanish and people respect her too much.)

Blaine doesn't hear me at first, it seems like he's writing something in Spanish and he's way too much focused on it. I wait a few seconds, just looking at him... I never appreciated how handsome he really is. His neatly gelled black hair (I wonder how he looks without the hair gel applied), his bright yellow shirt with red bow tie and a little smirk while he's writing. I sigh. He really is _handsome_. And his jawline, God!

 _Smack!_ I mentally slap myself. I can't get distracted like this, not now. I have to focus on our plan – I still have over five people to blackmail and I haven't even found any dirt on some of them yet.

"Blaine!" I call again. This time he looks in my direction and immediately smiles at me. I smile back and show him with my hand to come to me. He hesitantly looks at the teacher and other students. They don't really pay attention and Mrs. Nevelson is writing something on the blackboard. He looks back at me and nods slightly. He grabs his things and sneaks out of the classroom to me.

"Hi," he says as soon as we're behind the wall. I give him a hug. "So, what's going on?" He asks then.

"Time to blackmail – I call it Operation Clovergate!" I grin at him. His smile disappears and he looks back into the classroom, then back at me.

"You know that I don't like that idea." He whispers.

"I know, just consider this a rescue from your Spanish class then. Now let's go." I grab his arm and we go. He doesn't say anything else until we reach Malerie's art class.

We look inside. She's sculpting and her hands are completely covered in clay. She had to put her camcorder aside, but it didn't leave her side, it's right there next to her on the table, recording her sculpting. She is making a Bugs Bunny bust of sorts.

"Malerie, let's go!" I say to her from the doorway. "Clovergate time!" I hear Blaine scoff behind me, but I ignore it.

"But I'm sculpting," Malerie says, looking around for her art teacher, but honestly ditching her class is the least of her worries. The teacher wears an eye patch and is missing four fingers – he used to teach wood shop.

"Malerie, this is no time for sculpting!" I hiss. She looks around confused and then back at me and Blaine. She stands up finally and gathers her things with her elbows since her hands are still dirty. She presses her camcorder to her chest, apparently not having another place for it, plus she obviously doesn't want to stop filming.

Finally she reaches the door and looks one more time into the classroom.

"Hey, it's that pencil guy from homecoming!" Some jackass in the class says. I don't even bother answering, I just acquaint him with my middle finger and then we finally leave.

xoXOXox

When we're finally in the journalism room, Malerie helps me to make a large CLOVERGATE board. Blaine isn't helping. He's just sitting on the table with his bag in his lap, looking at us. I guess I won't make him agree with me and the whole plan then.

We put up school pictures of who my first victims would be: Claire, Coach Walker, Remy Baker, Nicholas and Scott. Yeah, my sights are set very high. I plan to blackmail the whole football team and all cheerleaders once I get coach Walker and Claire.

"Capture the queen, and the colony will follow," I say, looking at the board and adding Vicki and Dwayne. See? I'm not targeting only the popular kids.

"Yeah," Malerie nods her head, "unless the ants revolt and execute the queen first like they did in my ant farm." I ignore her – she says weird things like this all the time... even weirder sometimes.

"So many people to blackmail, so little time," I say.

"How are we going to blackmail all of them?" Malerie asks and looks at me.

"I don't know," I admit and fold my arms on my chest.

"Well, maybe you don't have to blackmail any of them." Blaine says, looking down. I turn to him and he looks up at me.

"Blaine," I say and go closer to him. "Remember, we're doing this for me, for our future life," I smile at him and take his hand into mine. He doesn't smile back though. "And I mean, I already got dirt on most of them." I add. "How hard could it be to use it against them?" He looks down again, but keeps holding my hand.

"Wait, guys?" Malerie says and steps a bit closer to us. For the first time in forever, she shuts down her camcorder and puts it on the table next to her. "Are- are you gay?" She asks.

Blaine pales visibly and squeezes my hand. I laugh a bit and look at him. "It's okay, it's just Malerie," I say and squeeze back. "Right?" I look at her. She still doesn't seem to get it.

"Yes, we're boyfriends, Malerie." I confirm.

"Oh, yeah, okay," she shrugs, "I'm happy for you," she turns her camcorder back on, facing the Clovergate board.

"See?" I tell Blaine, looking into his caramel eyes. "She doesn't care." I smile at him.

"Alright," He smiles back and pulls me closer for a quick kiss. "And..." He trails off.

"No, I'm not canceling the Clovergate operation." I roll my eyes and turn back to Malerie and the board." So as I said, I got dirt on most of them, but I'm not sure about the others. But then again," I look at Malerie. "Columbus wasn't sure North America was there. And you know what he did when he got there?"

"What?" Malerie asks.

" He enslaved every Indian around him."

"Oh," Malerie says and then steps closer to the board. "All you little Indians watch out."

"How far are you willing to go?" Blaine asks suddenly and hops down off the table. I turn to him.

"Until the Magazine is done and I get to Northwestern." I answer and look back at the board, ignoring Blaine shaking his head. "Some will be much easier than others," I say. "Oh and remember Malerie, if anything happens to me while I'm attempting this, you and Blaine are in charge of the Chronicle and the Writers' Club."

Malerie opens her mouth and her eyes widen. She probably thinks that I might really die. "Don't worry Malerie," I quickly say, "I won't die." She relaxes and looks at the board again, still a bit confused.

"Who are you starting with?" Blaine asks. I look at the board again and at Remy's cheesy class-photo smile.

I smirk."I'm starting with Frodo here." I point at her big head. "She's in my English class next period."

xoXOXox

Three down, four to go! Clovergate Day One has been a big success! I successfully managed to blackmail Remy and Nicholas with Scott. I made Remy send me a pic of her naked... and well, needless to say, I can't even look at her face anymore. Not that it was any easier before.

And Nicholas with Scott were already under my control, I just gave them a bright yellow flyer that said that they are invited to attend a mandatory meeting in the journalism classroom Friday after school. I can't even wait for that day, but on the other hand I'm a bit nervous. I don't doubt that I can handle such a power over them, I worry about not convincing them to write for me. What if they refuse to do anything and I spread the gossip about them (or the picture in Remy's case) and no one's gonna believe me? I'd be screwed.

"Hey," I look up and see Blaine. I'm leaning against my car, waiting for him – I'm taking Blaine home.

"Hey," I smile at him and open the door for him. He gets inside and seats himself next to me, on the passenger seat. I start the car.

"So, how did it go?" He asks awkwardly.

"The Clovergate?" I ask and he nods. "Well, I got Remy and Nicholas with Scott today. Those two were the easiest, now I just need to blackmail the rest of them." I finish, smiling. He's not smiling though, he's still silent and then, after a minute, he speaks.

"So you really aren't stopping, uh?" He says, the tone of his voice sad.

I sigh. "Look, I've already told you, I can't stop the operation. I've already blackmailed three people today, I'm not going to throw away my last chance to get to Northwestern."

"Okay, okay," He murmurs and looks out of the crappy window of my car. "Hey, let's change the subject." He suggests.

"I'm listening," I smile while still looking at the road in front of us.

"My parents are supposed to be out tonight, so we have a lot of time." He smirks at me and continues. "Now, I suggest we go to my room and well, I can teach you play the piano for example." He winks at me and I almost forget where to drive when I see his beautiful smile.

"I'd like that," I smile at him and wink back.

After about fifteen minutes I'm parking in front of Blaine's house. His dad's car isn't in the driveway, so Blaine was right and his parents aren't at home. That's great, I smirk at him again as he opens the door and gets out of the car.

Once we're in front of the main door, he opens and we go inside. The whole house looks so great when I know it's going to be just the two of us. He takes my hand and leads me to the stairs to his room, grinning.

"Blaine?" We suddenly hear his mom say. He immediately lets go of my hand and looks in her direction. She was still behind a corner when we were holding hands, thank God.

"Mom?" He asks and she looks at us. Then only at Blaine, and then only at me. She suspiciously narrows her eyes. I hear Blaine swallow.

"Hi, I'm Pamela, Blaine's mom." She suddenly introduces herself with a smile on her face, reaching out her hand, probably expecting me to shake it. I don't.

"I'm Carson," I just say.

"He's my tutor." Blaine quickly says and looks at his mom. "I know my dad wants me to be great at school, and I didn't get one lesson in Algebra, something about an imaginary number and Kurt offered his help." He looks at me and then at her, wishing that she would buy it.

"Kurt?" She asks.

"Yeah, well I'm Carson Kurt Phillips, so… " I explain. She nods her head and smiles once again.

"Um, why are you home so early?" Blaine asks carefully.

"Well, your dad got suddenly a lot of work he had to finish tonight, so we had to cancel the whole plan for today." She says. Blaine and I nod in the same time and she smiles slightly. "Well, I'll let you two work on that imaginary number or what the hell it is," She turns away. "Yeah, and Blaine?" She turns back at him.

"Hm?"

"After you two are done and you're hungry, I'll leave you something in the fridge. I need to go to the bank today, so I won't be at home." With that she finally walks away into the living room.

After a few seconds Blaine finally goes to his room. I silently follow him upstairs and close the door to his room after we're both in. He sits on the bed and I sit next to him, putting my hand on his thigh.

"It's okay, she doesn't know." I say and rub his shoulder.

"Yeah," He smiles sadly. "But now I can't teach you to play the piano." We both laugh silently.

"To be honest I don't get the imaginary number either." I laugh and he laughs too.

"Well, you can at least pretend to teach me."

"I have a way better idea." I smile and lean in to kiss him. He kisses me back and it's exactly like the first time. In his room, on his bed, his fingers playing with my hair and my hands on his cheeks. Though this time it's different because we're already boyfriends. We don't care where are we or what time is it, or anything, we love each other... Oh my God, I love him. I'm probably in love!

I pull away and stare into his brown eyes. "Blaine," I whisper. "I think I love you." I admit, worried that he might not feel the same. But his smile gets even bigger and he kisses me again, hard.

"I love you too." He gasps between the kisses. I chuckle and hug him. He hugs me back, closing his eyes. It's the most perfect moment. I'm in my boyfriend's arms and I'm actually happy. Once I get to Northwestern, I'll probably be so happy I might actually get a heart attack.

Suddenly we both hear the main door closing loudly.

"Blaine?!"

It's his dad's voice.

And he's angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... the previous chapter wasn't named "The Big Mistake" for nothing :D Enjoy the cliffhanger! Nah, I'm kidding, I'll update tomorrow so you won't have to wait long :)


	12. Where to Go

"Blaine!?"

The voice is angry and cold. It comes from downstairs and belongs to Blaine's father. I feel Blaine tense in my hug and slowly pull away. He _shivers_. That probably means that he doesn't get along with his dad. Blaine talked about this once, when I was here for the first time, I just never imagined it would sound like this.

"Blaine?" I ask, slightly worried. Just from his dad's tone I can tell that I'm not going to like that guy.

"Stay here," Blaine says quietly and puts a hand on my chest. He doesn't look into my eyes, but he swallows hard, and that alone tells me that he's beyond scared.

He stands up and leaves the room.

I'm here alone now. Suddenly I get a weird feeling inside – this situation doesn't feel good, not at all. And I swear if that guy's gonna do something to my boyfriend, I won't be able to control myself.

I hear them speaking.

I don't understand what they're saying, but it doesn't sound nice. His dad is shouting. Not loud enough for me to recognize the words though. Blaine is saying something back, they're probably just arguing.

I feel a bit relieved because it really _sounds_ like that. But then his dad says something firmly and I can hear a chair fall over.

_Oh my God._

There's silence. Scary silence. More silence than I like and that's what makes me run to the door of Blaine's room. _Please be alright!_ As soon as I open the door I see Blaine, going up the stairs and holding his face.

"Blaine?" I call his name and only then I realize how high pitched my voice is. That only happens when I'm scared and that's not very often. "Blaine?" I say again, silently. He looks up at me and slowly goes to his room.

When I close the door behind us, he immediately hugs me and buries his nose into my shoulder. Then he starts sobbing.

Now, just to be clear, I don't usually know what the hell to do in these situations since no one ever liked me enough, or considered me a good enough friend, to actually hug me, cry on my shoulder and seek my comfort. But oddly enough, I know exactly what to do now. It's Blaine after all. My boyfriend.

I hug him back and slowly walk him to his bed, where he sits down while still clinging to my blue shirt. "Shh," I whisper and rub his back. If he needs comfort, he's gonna get it.

"What happened?" I ask carefully, not wanting to startle him if he's not ready to talk about it just yet. He sniffs and slowly looks up at me. I gasp. There's a blue bruise forming right on his left eye. _I swear to God, I'm gonna kill that guy who calls himself a father! They may share half a DNA, but he had no right to-_

"H-He." Blaine stutters. He k-kicked me o-out." He manages to say before a new wave of sobbing hits him. _I should have come down there sooner and put an end to it._

"Shh, it's okay," It is _not_ okay. And he knows that. _I_ know that. But for now we can pretend that it's going to be okay. I kiss his forehead and pull him back into my hug, feeling his every movement as he closes his eyes and sniffs again.

"I have only half an hour to pack my stuff, then he doesn't want to s-see me again." He whispers against my neck. I glance at the clock hanging above Blaine's bed. We have 25 minutes.

"Don't worry, I'll help you and then you're gonna stay with me in my room." I say and nod so he feels me agreeing and knows that I'm totally okay with that plan.

"K-Kurt," he says, slowly, pulls away and looks into my eyes. His cheeks are wet, eyes red-rimmed and terrified. "I c-can't do that." He says.

"Sure you can," I look at him firmly and gently grab his shoulders. "And you will. I'm okay with it, really. Besides, where else you've got to go?" He looks around his room.

"Nowhere." He answers, looking down into his lap.

"See, nowhere." I take his hand into mine and he looks at me. "You'll stay with me."

"But-"

"No buts." I smile and squeeze his hand.

"What about your mom?" He asks.

"Don't worry about her." I say and we start packing his clothes and school stuff and other things. I'm so glad we have a car in front of the house, we wouldn't be even able to take so many things.

Last teary glance at his room and we're finally leaving. I take his hand and lead him down the stairs. We're almost in front of the main room, when suddenly a tall man crosses our way. It's Blaine's dad.

He has his hands on his hips, looking at us. "Is this him?" He asks and looks at our entwined fingers. "Your _boyfriend_? The one you sleep with?!"

"I don't sleep with him dad!" Blaine snaps. He obviously has enough. "Come on Kurt, we're leaving." He says, grabs my hand even more tightly and makes his way past his dad.

"Hey!" His dad says and grabs his arm. From the wince that Blaine makes I can tell that the grip is strong enough to leave another bruise. "Don't you dare shout at me, you faggot, I just disowned you but I'm still the adult here." He hisses into his son's face.

"Strange that you don't act like one!" I say and quickly open the door, dragging Blaine with me and into my car. Luckily, his dad doesn't follow us, he just shuts the door loudly and then he's gone. Finally.

As soon as I'm sitting inside, I start the car and drive home. It's going to be Blaine's home too for the next couple days. Who knows, maybe even weeks. And if we don't break up and stay together, we might even live in the same house, or flat, or just room for a long time. That thought makes me happy.

That's until I stop in front of my house and hear Blaine sobbing quietly. "Hey, you alright?" I ask gently and rub his shoulder.

"I don't know," He answers and takes a deep breath. "I hope I will be." He whispers and nods as if he was agreeing to something that he didn't say aloud.

"Don't worry, you will be," I assure him. "Now come on, let's go." I smile and lead him to our front door, with his bags already in our hands. When I open the door, I see mom passed out on the couch in front of the television as usual. Guess I was right then, at least she won't notice us. Not that she cares anyway. We turn the corner and I lead Blaine to the stairs. My mom snores loudly and mumbles something in her sleep. Blaine startles a little, but I assure him that it's okay. Not even a World War Three would wake her up.

I close the door to my room when we're inside and turn the lights on. It's not evening yet, but it's getting dark outside. Blaine sits on the bed and covers his face with his palms, sighing loudly. I small sob escapes him and that's when I sit there next to him and give him a hug again. He wraps his arms around my back tightly and sniffs.

"He knows," He whispers. "About the kiss on Saturday in the coffee shop."

"Yeah, I figured that much," I say and hug him more tightly. "I just didn't know he'd react like this." I lie him down on the bed and he puts his head on my torso, silently tracing small circles on my stomach. It feels a bit strange, no one's ever lain on me like that before, but it's kinda nice.

"He completely ruined our moment, you know," Blaine suddenly whispers. "You said you love me."

I chuckle. "That's because I do," I answer.

"And the blackmailing?" He asks, tensed again. I sigh.

"I'm sorry, but you know that I can't stop that. I need it. And if we don't break up and you stay with me-"

"I want to stay with you."

"See? Then it's for your own good too. You'd come with me and you can even try to get into the same college! We'll live together." I say. "Happily ever after." I start playing with his hair. I know he doesn't really like that because he'd have to use the hair gel again, but it seems he doesn't mind it know. Instead, he leans into the touch and sighs.

"I can't wait for that," he smiles a bit and yawns.

"Uh uh, someone's sleepy," I laugh and kiss his forehead.

"I don't want to move," he admits. "too tired." He mumbles against my neck and snuggles closer.

"Me neither, but we need to change, we can't sleep like this." I say, but I don't really want to move either.

"Sure we can, it's not even evening yet, we'll wake up and do homework later. Just… just not now, please." He says. "I just want to forget him for a while." He adds, his voice barely a whisper. And I can't say no to that.

"Okay," I smile and lift his chin to kiss him on the lips. God they're so soft and just incredible. "I love you, Blaine," I whisper as I pull away, looking deep into his brown eyes.

He smiles. "I love you too, Kurt."

With that I pull the covers over us and snuggle closer to my boyfriend, closing my eyes. It's been such a nice day, with all the Clovergate success and now suddenly this happens. I hope Blaine's going to be alright or at least a bit better after he wakes up.

And that my mom lets him stay here.


	13. A Trash Can Secret

Suddenly the lights turn on and with that ends the most beautiful dream that I have ever had. I was in my bed, with Blaine in my arms and we were sleeping and happy and everything was just the way it was supposed to be.

"Carson?" I hear my mom's voice. I grimace at the bright light and try to turn a little when I notice a weird weight on my stomach and chest. The memories from this afternoon suddenly come back and I open my eyes quickly and it's just what I expected. Blaine is wrapped around me, currently blinking and looking around the room, confused. His hair is messy and he looks adorable, I'd totally kiss him right now if it wasn't for the one other person in this room - my mom.

"Oh my God, mom?!" I shout. I didn't expect to sleep long, but outside is already dark and... my mom is actually out of the couch. The only time she chooses to actually _leave_ the living room and come to check on me and it just _has to be today._

"Who's that?" She asks and points to Blaine who just realized what is happening and is staring at my mom wide-eyed.

"Wait here," I tell Blaine, actually kiss him on his forehead (mom may be unstable, but she's not stupid, I bet she already knows what's going on, so there's no point hiding it anyway) and get out of bed, leading mom downstairs.

I think we're going to have to have _that_ talk. What is it called again? Oh yeah, 'coming out'.

As soon as she's back in the living room, she sits into the couch in front of the TV and looks at me, expecting some answers. I sigh and sit on a chair in front of her.

"Mom," I start and suddenly my mouth goes dry. I've never done this before, is this what coming out feels like? Maybe I should have asked Blaine about it first, he's already come out to his parents. Mom stares at me, apparently getting tired of waiting, so I just shake my head and start again. "Mom," I say. "I'm- I'm g-gay." I say. I try to sound normal, it's not a big deal anyway, look at Nicholas and Scott, they're gay too.

"Okay," she says and then looks up to the ceiling where my room is. "Is that your boyfriend?" She asks then and looks back at me.

"Maybe," I answer. "What would you do if I said yes?"

She turns around to grab some pills from the table and opens a new bottle of wine. "Nothing, I guess," she says before swallowing them and getting comfortable on the couch again. "It's your life Carson," she continues. "I don't care what you want t get out of it, just make sure you don't get hurt... and all that parenting shit."

"Okay." I say a bit unsure if she really was okay with it or just drugged again.

"God I'm an awful parent..." she whispers, looking in front of her. I stand up and turn to leave, but look back at her again.

"And can he stay?" I ask.

"What?"

"Can he stay here? Overnight?" I repeat. My mom looks up at the ceiling again and then back at me. She nods after a while.

"Overnight." She agrees.

"Great," I say and hurry back into my room.

"Carson?" She stops me just before I start walking up the stairs. I turn to her.

"Yeah?" Seriously, what does she want again, I want to go back to him finally.

"What's his name?" She asks, looking at me. I swallow.

"Blaine." I smile then. "Blaine Anderson."

xoXOXox

The door to Kurt's room open again and for a second I think it's his mom coming to kick me out. When Kurt's head appears though, I stand up and fling myself at him, relaxing into his warm embrace. Because what if she doesn't want me here and Kurt is just about to tell me that I can't stay? Kurt was right before, I have nowhere else to go.

"Hey, it's okay," He smiles and hugs me back. "You can stay here." He laughs.

"Really?" I ask and pull away slightly, looking into his eyes.

"Sure, my mom doesn't care." He says and kisses me. I moan into the kiss and close my eyes almost immediately. He pulls away then, takes my hand and leads me to a free chair in front in his table. "Come on, let's finish the homework."

"What time is it?" I ask and look for a clock. I can't find it anywhere, where could it possibly-

"Shit," Kurt courses. "It's almost midnight."

With that he quickly pulls out his algebra homework and together we finally manage to solve the problem with the imaginary number. It still makes no sense, but at least we have the homework. Then he writes down a few names of the people he wants to blackmail tomorrow (I still don't agree and I will not take part in this plan, but it seems like there's nothing I can do to stop him).

Before I even think about it, it's 1:30am and we both took a quick shower (separately, I don't think we're ready for _that_ yet and Kurt agrees.) We're both cuddling in bed now. I never knew what a cuddle whore I am before I met Kurt. I've never cuddled with anyone before, and when I do with Kurt now, it just feels so nice! I don't think I'll ever want to stop doing this.

He's lying on his side and we're spooning. He has his arm over my stomach under the blanket and his nose is in my hair. I breathe slowly in and then out, enjoying the moment of comfortable silence. It feels like home when I'm here with him, but... I'm _not_ home.

"Kurt?" I whisper and already feel my eyes starting to burn. "What do I do if your mom doesn't let me stay here after tonight?" My voice trembles a little and I entwine our fingers under the blanket. He tightens his hold on me.

"She _will_ let you stay here." He says. I'm not sure if he wants to make _me_ believe that or himself. I take a deep breath.

"But what if she doesn't?" I ask him and turn around to look into his eyes. He looks at me and instead of answering he kisses me and presses his forehead against mine, holding the back of my neck with his hand.

"I'll take care of you," he promises. "I swear that I'll take you with me to Northwestern and that we'll live together so we can cuddle like this every night.

I feel myself smiling. "I'd like that." I whisper.

"Me too." He smiles and I kiss him goodnight. It's time to sleep after all and when I feel Kurt's presence right next to me, I feel safe and I don't have any troubles falling asleep.

xoXOXox

Clovergate Day Two has been better than Day One! Today I blackmailed Dwayne and Vicki. For Dwayne Malerie prepared a fake weed and for Vicki I googled some _Satan-worshipping cults._ And you know what? It worked! She might not hide this from her peers, but she definitely doesn't want her parents to find out. They teach Sunday school and something tells me they wouldn't be very happy if certain photos of her daughter with a whip in her mouth got in their hands.

I managed to do so much today, I think I didn't even go to the classes! I don't care though, I got chills that are telling me that my Northwestern acceptance letter would soon be on its way!

As yesterday I'm leaning against my car in the student parking lot, waiting for Blaine. I look at my wristwatch and then to the school's entrance. I sigh and close my eyes. It's really bad what happened to Blaine. It makes me so angry with his dad. My dad left me and mom and his dad kicked Blaine out. That would probably be one of I don't know how many things we have in common – shitty dads.

I look up again and see him walking towards me. He's wearing a bright violet top with green and red striped bow-tie and green trousers. As always, he looks gorgeous.

"Hi," he smiles at me, takes my hand and gives me a quick kiss. Since his dad already knows that his son has a boyfriend and my mom knows I'm gay, we don't have a reason to pretend. Blaine said that he was already out at his old school, and I don't care what people think about me, so that's one less problem for us. We can hold hands and kiss in public.

"Hello Mr. Handsome," I grin and kiss him again.

"Oh, so that makes you Ms. Handsome or Ms. Pretty?" He laughs and I open the door for him.

"No, I'm always Mr. MoreCleverThanYou," I answer in my best serious voice. But then we both laugh and I start the car, heading home.

The ride is mostly silent, but it's not the uncomfortable silence. It's comfortable like this, just him and me sitting next to each other, happy. Mostly happy. Okay, I admit it – I'm worried that my mom won't let him sleep in my room, there's still a chance that she'll say no. But she's drunk most of the time, so I'm almost 80% sure she'll say yes. I'm still worried though.

When we finally arrive home, mom is watching TV again and doesn't mind me and Blaine at all, so I check the mail as I do every day – still nothing. After that, we go to my room. Blaine pulls out his guitar from a big bag and after he tunes it and sits on my bed, he starts playing. He's not singing though, just playing. I don't know the song, but it's really nice.

"What song is that?" I ask after a while of listening to him and doing my homework.

He smiles to himself and answers. "It's Cough Syrup." Then he finally starts singing and I look up so I can watch him.

_Life's too short to even care at all oh woah oh,  
_ _I'm losin' my mind, losin' my mind, losin' control.  
_ _These fishes in the sea, they're staring at me waoh oh,  
_ _Oh oh oh oh,  
_ _A wet world aches for a beat of a drum,  
_ _Oh._

_If I could find a way to see this straight  
_ _I'd run away  
_ _To some fortune that I should have found by now  
_ _I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down._

He stops playing and looks at me. He laughs and then I realize that my mouth is open and I'm staring at him. I laugh too. "You have wonderful voice." I say and he blushes a bit. I chuckle at that.

"Thanks," He smiles then. "Hey, don't you want to try to sing too? I'm sure your voice is just as amazing." He suddenly says and I smile again. Wait, wh-what? He wants me to do what?

"What?" I stutter and blink a few times. He laughs again.

"C'mon, Kurt," He says and stands up to take my hand. Weird enough, I don't refuse and let him lead me to the bed. We sit down again and he smiles at me. I suddenly panic.

"Blaine, I c-can't sing." I say. "I've never tried it, I'm horrible at singing."

"If you've never tried it, how do you know you're horrible then?" He says and gives me an old folded paper – the lyrics.

"O-okay then." I stutter again and prepare myself for the worst humiliation in the history of Carson Kurt Phillips. He doesn't take his eyes off of me, he just starts playing. It makes me wonder how does he know where exactly to put his fingers on the guitar to make it sound the way he wants. I hesitantly take a deep breath and in the next second I'm singing.

I don't know the song, but thanks to Blaine I remember the melody. At least bit.

_Life's too short to even care at all oh  
_ _I'm coming up now, coming up now, out of the blue oh  
_ _These zombies in the park, they're looking for my heart  
_ _Oh oh oh oh  
_ _A dark world aches for a splash of the sun oh oh_

I stop because I forgot the melody. I'm looking down, but when I hear no response from him I look up just to find Blaine staring at me with his mouth open. I bet he looks like me just a minute ago.

"I know, I know. It was awful," I say and actually cover my face with my hands. Then I feel Blaine's fingers brush against my wrist. "What?" I ask and look at him again. "I know you're better, no one's ever taught me how to sing."

"Kurt," he starts and suddenly a huge smile appears on his face. "That was amazing!" He laughs and carefully puts away the guitar to give me a hug.

"You think?" I ask, my mouth against his shoulder.

"Kurt, I know it." He smiles and pulls back. "Your voice sound magical. I guess you're a countertenor."

"Which means?" I ask, I've never heard this word before, actually everything around music is foreign to me.

"That you can sing really high notes that even I can't hit." He explains. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I'm happy about it. I don't have to say that I sound like a girl anymore, I'm a countertenor and that sound really cool.

Blaine continues playing and I continue singing with him. We're having a great time, but after about half an hour we both get tired so we stop and start working on our homework again. I sit to my table with Blaine next to me and we start with Chemistry.

xoXOXox

"Do you have water or something?" I ask after a while. "I'm thirsty."

"Yeah, of course. You can take the glass from a cupboard above the sink down in the kitchen." Kurt mumbles and continues writing on the paper. It's Chemistry and it involves pH and some acid and well... I'll leave him to it, that would probably be the best.

As I go down the stairs, I hear Kurt's mom. "Blaine?" She says. I tense a bit, but come to the living room anyway.

"Yes, Ms. Phillips?" I ask. I'm nervous, I've no idea what does she want to say.

"How long do you know Carson?" She asks, but doesn't look at me, the programme on the TV is probably more interesting for her.

"Um, about two weeks." I answer. Now that I think about it, it isn't really that long and look how far in our relationship we already are.

"Well that didn't take long," She mumbles. Then she looks at me. "Just don't hurt him, okay? I don't think he would take the betrayal of two men in his life very well, and who would wake me up in the morning then."

"I won't," I answer. Honestly, I don't know what else to say, but after I see that Ms. Phillips has turned her full attention to the TV, I just go to the kitchen for the water.

In all the mess around I manage to find the cupboard and I take one glass that looks less dirty than all others and fill it with water. Then I turn around and lean against the sink. Their kitchen is messy, like the rest of the house, but it's still better than in my old room at old school.

The trash can is right on the other side of the kitchen and when I look at it, something catches my attention. I go closer and closer until I'm standing right next to it.

It looks like a...

I reach my hand and pull it out. It's a _letter_ , suspiciously looking letter. I turn it around to read who is it from and gasp.

It's from the _Northwestern University._


	14. Our Plan

I'm doing my Chemistry homework and don't pay attention to anything else around me. I think I sent Blaine downstairs for water, but I don't really care at the moment. I want to be finally done with this so I can cuddle with Blaine again and sing with him.

Yes, sing. Though it sounds weird, I really did enjoy singing with him. I don't know why, but it was nice. I've never actually tried to _feel_ my voice. And when I sang with Blaine, it just felt amazing.

I sigh and close my eyes for a few seconds. I hear Blaine enter the room behind me, but I don't look up. I'm just so tired and I think it has something to do with the fact that when I sleep with Blaine, cuddled in my bed, it feels really nice and I just want to do it again and so I'm tired as an excuse to go to bed again.

Something lands in front of my head on the table. Finally, I open my eyes and look at it. It's a letter, it's a–

"Oh my god Blaine is this what I think it is?" I yell suddenly and grab carefully the already opened letter. "Wait, why is it opened?" I ask. I know that it isn't important now, but I just couldn't help asking.

"It's your Northwestern acceptance letter, Kurt. Just look at it." Blaine says and touches my shoulder. I look down at the letter again. I can feel my hands shaking and starting to sweat. This is a moment I've been waiting for almost my whole life!

I realize that I'm smiling like a lunatic. I look at Blaine again. He smiles back at me and I finally turn the piece of paper around. I feel my body tense and I'm pretty sure I'm not even breathing because I feel a slow pain rising up in my chest.

"I got in," I whisper and take a deep breath. "I got in!" I smile and turn around to hug Blaine. He keeps smiling at me and laughing as he wraps his arms around my back, returning the hug. "I got in!" I laugh again.

I feel so happy! I've actually achieved my goal, my dream came true, god I'm _awesome_!

"See?" Blaine suddenly says and pulls away to look into my eyes. "You got in, so you don't have to make the literary magazine." I frown slightly, but he keeps talking. "You don't have to blackmail all those people and feel bad about it, you already know you're going to Northwestern."

I look down for a moment and think about what Blaine just said. It's true, the magazine is pointless now because they already accepted me. And Blaine's right, I would feel bad about it, especially now that I know the magazine isn't needed. But not _that_ bad. And the the Clovergate operation is already in-progress, I can't stop now. I got the money from mom and announced it at the ASSembly. Everyone expects me to finish it.

"No," I say and look back at him. "Blaine, I can't stop now, I've already started, gave them the flyers and got the money and everything. Even though it's pointless now, I still want to do it. At least for myself."

He looks down, still holding my shoulder, but then he nods slowly. I can see that he doesn't like the answer, but he probably gave up trying to change my mind. "Okay," He says. His face is so damn close to mine that I can't resist and just lean in to kiss him. He doesn't pull away.

"Now, why was the letter opened?" I insist. I know that Blaine wouldn't open it, he would wait for me.

"Um," He starts, obviously not wanting to tell me.

"Well?" I say and try to look into his eyes when he looks down again. This doesn't look good...

"I don't actually know." He answers then. "I just found it in the trash can in the kitchen. It was already opened, so I suppose..." He trails off, looking at me worriedly.

And then it hits me. I checked the mail today, I _checked_ it as I always do. Blaine was with me and the only other person who could have possibly found the letter, opened it and thrown it away was...

"Mom?!" I yell through the whole house. I know she's still on the couch and I know that she did this. How could she?!

I'm barely aware of Blaine trying to calm me down as I storm out of my room and run downstairs, only to find my mother, watching TV as if _nothing_ happened. I stop only when I'm right in front of her so I'm blocking her view of the television. She looks up at me.

"What's up?" She asks.

"What's up?!" I yell at her and now she finally looks at me. Her look is somehow distant, I know she's been drinking, but that doesn't change the fact that she's been obviously sober when she threw the letter away. She must have been, otherwise she wouldn't have even been able to get out of the couch.

I show her the letter and her eyes go wide. That's it. That's the proof she _did_ this.

"How could you– How could you throw my letter away?!" I say. All I can think about it what my own mother did and nothing else.

"I'm sorry," is all she says. "I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?!" I shout again. This makes no sense, it's ridiculous.

"I didn't want you to get hurt like I did," she says then. I think she's starting to sober up by now. "All your talk about growing up and becoming a writer – all these delusions you have won't happen." She continues. "Dreams don't come true, Carson, take it from me. I'm living proof. The world is a very cruel place. You would have left and been eaten alive and come back utterly destroyed. I wanted better for you." She leans closer a bit, looking right up at me. God, is she actually serious?!

I can't believe it, my own mother, my own flesh and blood, did this to me and now she's trying to validate her actions. "I can't believe this. This is so unfair!" I yell again, completely blind with anger.

"Life is unfair." Mom says then and stands up. I take a step back. "It is. And the sooner you realize that, the faster you grow up and see the world for what it really is."

I give up, this conversation has no point anymore. She's the most pathetic person in the world! I stand up and walk away. "Thank you," I say before I'm gone. "Thank you for being the _perfect_ example of something I refuse to become.

I don't know what's happening anymore. I hear Blaine's voice calling my name, but then I'm suddenly in my car, driving away. Somewhere, I don't know where and I don't even care. I'm just driving and driving and I don't ever want to stop.

I pass the CLOVER CITY LIMIT sign on the outskirts of town. I don't know why, but it somehow makes me angry all over again and I reach for my umbrella, get out of my car and go at that sign like a piñata.

It doesn't make me feel better.

I get back into my car and drive some more. I drive as far as I can until there is no more road left take. I look around and see that I'm at the ocean. And in that moment I realize that I've actually never seen it.

It's so big, and blue and just beautiful. The sun is shining above and I sit on the hood of my car. I start to think.

My mom, my own mom _betrayed_ me. I remember I asked her to inform me if there was a letter in the mail for me. She said that she would. And what she did? She opened it and as soon as she found out that I've been accepted she just threw it away to _protect me._

I snort. She didn't do it for me, no. She did it only for herself. She couldn't bare the thought that I might actually leave her in this shit-town and go to Northwestern. She wanted me for herself, that's so selfish of her.

Well, at least I got in. I smile a little and look at the letter that's still lying on the passenger seat. I still have a few weeks to confirm that I want to go there and study. At least Blaine found that letter now. Better than three months from today – that would be too late.

My phone suddenly rings. "Carson, I need to talk to you, I need to apologize," I hear my mom's voice. She's the last person I want to talk to now, so I end the call and look back at the ocean. The wind is nice and it plays with my hair nicely. At least something feels nice now.

"Kurt?" I hear a very familiar voice right next to me. I turn around and can't help but smile.

"How'd you get here?" I ask.

Blaine smiles and says. "I followed the trace of sadness mixed with unbelievable hotness from your house." We both laugh bit and after Blaine sits next to me on the hood, I lay my head down on his shoulder, still facing the ocean. We keep sitting like this, half-hugging at least another five minutes and neither of us wants to stop. "I love you no matter what happens, Kurt." Blaine says eventually, kissing the top of my head.

"I love you too," I smile, nuzzling my nose into the crook of his neck.

"So what about our plan then?" He smirks suddenly and looks down at me. "Get to Northwestern and cuddle every night? Do you still want it?" I look up at him, getting lost in his brown eyes and then kiss him, happy to be in his arms.

"Oh yes, definitely."


	15. The Incredible Hulk

When we return home from the beach, it's already 1am and Kurt's mom is asleep on the couch. Kurt doesn't even look at her at first, and when he does, he frowns and quickly goes upstairs to his room. I follow him and close the door. I glance at the table with the chemistry homework still there and then I look at Kurt who's already lying in his bed.

"I still can't believe she did this to me." I hear him whisper.

"Me too," I answer. "But, hey, at least she was okay with the whole gay thing. Not like my parents anyway." I look down for a few seconds and when I look up again, Kurt's already staring at me.

He pats the empty space next to him and smiles. I smile too and lie down, right next to him with my head on his chest. He starts playing with my hair and even when I don't usually like it, I let him. It's Kurt after all.

"I'm sorry about what happened to you." He whispers and sighs.

"You've already told me that," I reply, feeling my eyes burn a little. I don't want to cry because I want to stay strong. "And what happened, happened. There's nothing I can change about it."

Kurt sighs again and covers us with a blanket. It's time to sleep.

xoXOXox

It's Friday. Blaine sleeps in my room for almost a week and my mom doesn't even care. But that's probably because I don't talk to her. I don't care why she did what she did, it was wrong and I'm still mad at her.

The good news are that I've successfully confirmed my letter and blackmailed the rest of the people on my list of victims. Today is a meeting after school and if I'm being completely honest, I'm nervous. I'm nervous a lot because what if they won't want to write for me? Well, I know that they _don't_ want to write for me, but what if they refuse to cooperate? Am I really willing to spread the dirt I got on them? Am I capable of ruining someone's life? And what if no one will believe me?

There's a weird feeling in my chest and I still refuse to admit that it might be guilt. I mean, maybe I _should_ feel guilty about what I'm doing, but I don't want to. It's enough that Blaine disagrees with my Clovergate operation, and he's right – I don't have to do this anymore because I've already been accepted to the Northwestern University, but I just feel like I have to prove something to myself.

I want to finish this. I _will_ finish this. It'll be like my final project for the journalism class.

Everything else aside because today is the day – make it or break it. I had horrible pains in my stomach the whole day and even with Blaine next to me, I couldn't sleep well last night. I wasn't able to look anywhere else but the clock in every classroom in the whole school.

The meeting is still getting closer and it's almost time to begin.

I'm in the journalism classroom, waiting for everyone to come. Malerie's here with me and as always, she's watching everything through her camcorder.

Half an hour later and I'm still waiting. The school ended more than twenty minutes ago and the classroom is still empty. Is no one taking me seriously or what?!

Suddenly there is a knock on the door and I'm even more nervous than before. When Blaine's head peeks inside though, I relax and smile slightly. "What are you doing here?" I ask him and go to give him a hug.

"I don't want to go back to your house alone and waiting outside it too boring, so I thought I'd come to see you." He says and kisses my cheek. I quickly glance at Malerie in the corner of the classroom and smile when I see that her camcorder is off and she's not recording us. She might be really slow, but she's a good friend.

I turn back to Blaine. "Well, but I have the meeting here." I say, looking into his brown eyes.

"what meeting?" He asks, frowning.

" _The_ meeting." I answer and then he gets it.

"Oh," He says but doesn't move to leave. "Well, then I'll stay and watch you." I raise my eyebrows. "I really don't want to wait outside." He adds after a while.

"Of course," I say and lead him to an empty chair in the back of the classroom.

"Where's everyone?" He asks, looking around.

"I don't know," I say, glancing at the door again for at least the hundredth time in the last half an hour. "It seems that I'll have to spread my dirt on them around because no one's here and it's already after school."

"Well, what about after-school activities?" He asks. _After-school activities!_ That's why they are all so late!

"I forgot about that!" I say. God, I'm such a moron. I was giving my peers way too much credit.

xoXOXox

One by one, Kurt's victims are entering the journalism classroom. Once they're all inside (even couch Walker), I start to think that maybe in this classroom has never been more people. It all looks like a little party with the cool kids and three outsiders. Except that this is not a party and everyone looks like they want to kill my boyfriend.

Kurt looks at them and after the last one shows up – I think that's Emilio – Kurt locks the door to the classroom. Then he finally starts.

"Hello everyone and welcome to the journalism classroom." He says. I glance at Malerie and see that she's filming again. The meeting doesn't go very well. When Kurt finally tells them what he wants from them, they all moan. And when Kurt says that he wants literary submissions from every football player and cheerleader as well, it's even worse. They all start complaining and yelling at Kurt and it's just _not_ good.

A few of them even stand up to leave the room because their Friday afternoon has been wasted, and that's when Kurt _snaps_.

"Sit down!" He orders and all of them follow his instructions. Even I lean back in my chair and look at him, fearfully. He's scary and furious.

"For years I have been poked and stabbed with your _bitchfork_ , Claire!" He screams. "You have beaten me down to the bottom of high school food chain with the _shitty_ end of the stick for far too long! You don't think they're gonna believe me? _I will make them believe!_ You don't think the people at this school have just been waiting for an excuse to turn against you?"

Everyone is silent and completely still, but he continues. "Sure they all hate me, but that's because I'm the only person in town with an IQ larger than my shoe size and I don't hesitate to remind people of that! So go ahead and play all the mind games you want to with me, sweetheart. I'm not accepting that invitation to intimidation any longer. I have nothing to lose and a whole hell of a lot to gain, and this time _none of you are stopping me!_ "

Even I'm paralyzed after what he just said. Wow, I've never seen him this furious before. Even when he found out about that letter on Tuesday. But even when we're all paler than ever before, Kurt hasn't stopped yet. He goes behind his desk and grabs the first stack of papers he finds.

"Need some examples?" He yells. "Here are some examples!" He starts throwing the paper at us and for the first time in the last ten minutes, I realize that my mouth is wide open. "Poetry, short stories, essays, scripts, novels, _anything!_ Write anything as long as it's in your words and in my hands ASAP! _Write about how much you hate me! Write in detail about how much you want to kill me!_ Okay? _NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!"_

I quickly stand up and leave. I don't care that Kurt isn't with me, even Malerie ran out of the classroom with wide eyes. Everyone hurriedly left Kurt alone and I think most of them will be praying tonight to not see his furious red face ever again, even coach Walker.

It seems that I'll go home alone after all.


	16. The Cake of Peace

When I finally get home from the meeting and open the door to my room, I find Blaine inside, lying on my bed, listening to music. His eyes are closed, so I decide to surprise him. I sneak closer to the bed and then I stop.

He's so beautiful. Just lying there, relaxed, slowly breathing in and out, making his chest go up and down. He's already washed the gel out of his hair so his black curls are back. I love his curly hair.

I lean closer and just keep looking at him. His lips form a tiny smile as he listens to a song he likes. He takes a deep breath and that's when I lean in and kiss him.

"Hmpf-" He mumbles surprised, but then he immediately kisses me back and puts his arms around my shoulders. I smile into the kiss and kiss him some more. He laughs.

Suddenly there's a knock on the door.

I growl and pull away, looking at the door. I roll my eyes when I see my mom.

"Do you um- do you want something? To eat or drink?" She simply asks. I really don't know why is she doing this, she knows well enough that I don't want to talk to her. She looks tired and very nervous.

"No-" I start, but Blaine cuts me off.

"Yes please," He says and when I look at him with my eyebrows raised, he looks into my eyes and speaks up again. "Something to eat would be nice." He says, then he sits up and looks at my mom. "Ms. Phillips." I look at mom and she smiles slightly.

"Anything specific?" She asks. Blaine shakes his head.

"No, I'm fine with whatever you find in the fridge, thank you." My mom nods and leaves.

"What was that supposed to mean?" I ask Blaine. He smiles and looks at me.

"Kurt, I know you don't talk to your mom, but you should make amends with her. Seriously, she's your _mom_." He says.

"Yes, I know that." I reply. "But she's also the woman who has _betrayed_ me."

"I know." He says and suddenly hugs me. "But since I don't have parents anymore, at least you should talk to yours." He whispers to my ear. I roll my eyes again.

"Okay, but only my mom, I'm not talking to my dad." I say. That man hasn't shown here in years. Blaine pulls away and rolls his eyes.

"Just go down to her." He says. When I keep sitting there, he repeats, "go. Come on Kurt, just go." And then I kiss him again and leave the room. I really don't know why I'm doing this, but I guess he's right. I should at least talk to her.

I walk down the stairs and see her in the kitchen. She opens the fridge and takes out a... cake? She bought a cake? Wait, she made it out of the house to the shop? Isn't she drunk again? And if she isn't, did something happen while I was in the school?

"Mom?" I say. She looks up and smiles at me. She _smiles_ at me. "Why do you have a cake, it's not my birthday... or yours." I ask.

"Carson," She says and steps closer to me. "I'm sorry about the letter, I really am. I... I just want my son back." What?

"What?" I say. I don't understand.

"I want you to talk to me. About anything, okay?" She says then. "Anything at all, school, friends, your boyfriend, anything. I just want you to _talk_ to me." She looks down and goes to take the cake. "I know I've been a horrible parent ever since your father left... and it might have seemed like I don't care about you at all, but you're my son and... and I love you." She smiles again and I try to smile too.

"Wow," I let out a breath. "You're right." I say to her. "You've been an awful parent." I laugh then a bit. Blaine was right, she's my mom. And we both made some mistakes. "But thanks mom."

She smiles and looks at the cake then. "Can you take the dishes from the cupboard and take them to the living room please?" She says and leaves the kitchen. I take the dishes and wash them a bit – they're not exactly _clean._ Then I take them to the living room where mom cleaned out the table and the couch – wow, she really wants me back I guess.

"Why the cake?" I ask her once I put the dishes on the table next to the cake.

"Well, we're celebrating." She replies and goes to the kitchen again for some forks for the cake.

"I don't think I get it... what are we celebrating? You couldn't have found someone, just _look_ at you. And dad isn't here, not that I would want him here anyway, so what is this about?"

She looks at me and smiles again – weird. "Well, you have a _boyfriend._ "

Oh, _right_. "Guess I'll get him then." I say and run upstairs.

xoXOXox

I'm lying on Kurt's bed and listen to my favorite music when suddenly someone shakes my shoulders. I open my eyes and see Kurt's smile above me. I can't help but smile too.

"Hey, what's up?" I say and sit up. "How's your mom?"

"I think she's finally gone full-crazy." He chuckles. I raise my eyebrows. "Well, she bought a cake to celebrate our relationship." He shrugs.

"What? Really?" I ask.

"Yeah, really," He smiles and grabs my hand. "Now come on before she's passed out again." He says and walks me downstairs. When we enter the living room, his mom is already sitting on the couch and cutting the cake into pieces. She looks up at me and Kurt and then looks down at our entwined hands.

She smiles a bit and gestures with her hands for us to sit. We sit on the other side of her couch, still holding hands. She gives us each a piece of cake and then she smiles at us again.

"So," She says after a while. "How did you two meet?"

"What?" Kurt says.

"How did you meet Burt?" She repeats.

"Um... it's Blaine," I correct her.

"-Blaine." She nods at me and looks at Kurt. He's looking at her a long while, suspiciously.

"What's the catch?" He asks suddenly.

"There's no catch." She says. "Can't I just ask how did my son meet his boyfriend or what? I want to know something about you."

"Strange that you've never tried to do that before." Kurt says and looks down.

Ms. Phillips is silent and then she looks at Kurt again. "I know that, but I'm trying to change for your sake, okay? Please don't make it any harder. I know I've made some mistakes and I've also been maybe even the worst parent ever, but I'm trying _now_."

I smile at her. "I appreciate that Ms. Phillips." I say. She smiles at me.

"Well?" she asks again. "Where was it? School? Writing's club? Where?"

Since Kurt is most likely _not_ going to answer that question, I answer. "Well, I had to transfer, so I was new here." I start and she actually listens. "It was my first day and I was going around the whole school, looking for the right classroom, when I suddenly stepped out of the elevator and saw Kurt yelling at everybody-"

"Yeah, he does that." She laughs. Kurt looks at her as if she was laughing for the first time ever, and maybe she was, so I laugh too.

"-Well," I continue, "and I don't know why, but in that moment I looked at him and thought that Kurt was the most beautiful boy I've ever seen." I say and Kurt looks at me. He smiles and I smile too.

"He was too dumb to find his classroom, so I had to take him there," Kurt adds. "And we found out we share the Algebra class." He shrugs.

"After the class, I kinda made him talk to me and as soon as I found out he has a Writers' Club, I wanted in, and so he took me." I smile and finish the cake. "The cake was amazing by the way, Ms. Phillips."

"Thanks," she says. "I'm actually really proud that I made it out of the house to buy the cake. I didn't even have my bathrobe." She says, clearly amazed by herself.

"Wow," Kurt nods. "That's really amazing mom." He says. "Glad you survived the sun and air out there. Have you noticed the high green things? Those are called the _trees_."

"Ha ha, funny." She says, not really amused, but as if she had expected his response. And I know that they're not really the best example of mother and son, but it makes me miss my mom a lot. I feel my eyes burn a little, but I look down and I try my best to hold it all inside. I can't _cry_ in front of my boyfriend's mom.

"What's wrong, baby." I suddenly feel Kurt's hand on my shoulder. He makes me look at him, his fingers on my chin and he looks into my eyes.

"Nothing," I say. "I just kinda miss _my_ mom." I whisper. And then he's hugging me and I'm hugging him back.

"I don't understand, what's going on?" His mom asks us. And so we tell her. We tell her everything – about my dad's behavior since I came out, about him kicking me out. And then about the singing and Kurt becoming my boyfriend in the park behind our house. At first she says that she feels like a really bad parent just like my dad is and then, after a while she says that I can stay, mostly because she apparently doesn't want to argue with Kurt again. Besides, it's already been working like this, so why not to continue? Kurt's bed is big enough for both of us to fit there anyway.

After we finish the cake and it's getting dark outside, we eat the dinner that Ms. Phillips cooked. It's not perfect, but it's food and at least it's not ordered again. I've been getting tired of eating pizzas and take outs in Kurt's room. After the dinner, we disappear back upstairs and close the door behind us. Kurt's mom's fallen asleep on the couch, so we didn't want to wake her up. Except for Kurt – he wanted to put her hand into a bowl of water, but I talked him out of it.

So now we're in the bathroom, getting ready for bed – we're not having a bath together, Kurt and I both agree that we're just not there yet. Maybe soon though.

I'm brushing my teeth and after I'm done with it, I wait for Kurt to finish too. After he finishes, he kisses me on the mouth and I don't protest. I put my arms around his shoulders and he pulls me closer by my waist.

I pull away eventually, looking into his blue eyes. "Kurt," I smile up at him.

"Yeah?" He breaths out and then in again, sniffling my freshly washed hair.

"I wanna ask you something." I say. "I know we're already boyfriends, but we haven't really gone to a lot of dates... so my question is... Would you want to go out and maybe grab some coffee tomorrow or something?"

He grins at me and starts nodding enthusiastically . "Yes!" He laughs. "Yes, Blaine! Of course I do!"

I laugh with him and kiss him again, hard.

"Tomorrow then," I whisper as we fall asleep in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! :)


	17. Hope Dies Last

The sun is high above in the blue sky, hidden behind a few white puffy clouds. It's comfortably warm and the wind blows just enough to make you feel amazing but not too cold. It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon and I'm holding my boyfriend's hand, walking by his side away from his house.

When we woke up today, we helped clean up the kitchen and the living room a little bit so Kurt's mom didn't have to have so much work. She wants to start anew, to finally let go of her husband and move on. To understand her son and to get better. It's good for her, according to what Kurt had said about her and what have I heard yesterday. She couldn't have been a good mom, but she's at least trying. My dad on the other hand, is not.

I look back and see her head in the window. She's waving her hand at us, so I wave back and nudge Kurt with my shoulder to do the same. After he waves too, her head disappears and we continue walking down the street, hand in hand.

"It's so nice that your mom's trying to get better,"I say, looking at a bird sitting on a tree in front of us.

"Yeah, I guess," Kurt answers, looking down. "I just hope she won't be drunk again when we return." He says then. I squeeze his hand.

"She's doing this for you Kurt." I tell him. "I think she's gonna do her best not to end like that." He looks at me and smiles.

"I hope you're right." He says. He looks in front of him, probably thinking. "Do you..." He starts after a while. "Do you think that your parents will ever try to make it better?" He whispers and holds my hand a little bit tighter.

"I-" I don't know what to say. I want them back. A Lot, I mean... they're my _parents._ I just don't know if it's ever going to happen. "I don't know." I answer. "I hope that they'll understand me... someday." I sigh and feel Kurt's hand slowly sneaking behind me to hold my waist hesitantly. I laugh.

"What?" He asks.

"Kurt," I say and take his hand, the one that just quickly left my waist. I put it back around my body and hold his fingers with my other hand. "You're my boyfriend, I even sleep in your bed." I laugh. "You don't have to be so uncertain when you want to put your hand around my waist."

He blushes and I swear it's the cutest thing in this whole world. "Okay," He smiles a bit, sheepishly. "I know that we've been practically sleeping together, I just wasn't sure if you're okay with me touching you like that in public." He admits. "I know that I have no problem with it, but it's not just about me anymore. And the last time we did something like that, when I _kissed_ you, we got caught. So-"

"I am absolutely okay with it." I give him a broad smile and he smiles back. "My dad knows about us anyway, your mom does too and we don't care about any other people, so..."

"True," he smiles. "Besides, if someone from school sees us, I can always make them stay silent and write for me, right?" He jokes.

I stiffen but don't look at Kurt. He feels it anyway and looks down.

"Blaine, I know that you don't agree with the plan and you're right that I don't even need to finish the Literary Magazine anymore, but I feel like I do, and that's important to me. It's like my legacy, the last thing I'll leave behind as I move to the Northwestern University."

I sigh again. "I know, you've already said that and I think I understand." I say. "More or less." I add. "But I won't ever agree with this plan, so can we stop talking about this now?"

He doesn't answer, but we don't talk about it anymore. As I realize, we're getting closer to the coffee shop. The same one we've been to before. Only now we don't have to be careful and we can finally be boyfriends. Not that we _were_ careful the last time, it was the whole reason my dad... my dad _kicked me out_.

When we reach the entrance of the shop, Kurt opens the door for me and then orders us some coffee. He chose his and my favorite and I smile as I put it to my lips to take a sip. We're sitting in the corner of the shop so no one can bother us.

I take Kurt's hand into mine and smile at him. He smiles back and swallows his first sip of coffee. Suddenly he grins.

"By the way, today I had the most amazing dream!" He says enthusiastically.

"What was in the dream?" I ask, smiling myself. Kurt grins even more.

"At first I thought I was having a _naked-in-public_ dream, but then I realized I was _editor in chief_ and an asshole! It was great!" I start laughing with him. It makes me feel so good that he's happy, then I'm happy too.

"Really?" I laugh.

"Yes! I felt like Miranda Priestly in _The Devil Wears Prada_." He says and sips his coffee again. "And I was older. Remy was my receptionist and Claire brought me coffee, which I splashed then in Remy's face." He giggles so adorably.

"I'd like to see that!" I laugh. "I don't really know her, but she seems quite bossy." I comment.

"She's practically my female version!" He says and takes another sip of his coffee. "She's ambitious, smart and driven, but the difference between us is that she uses her power for _evil._ " He looks so serious. "And she stopped growing around the fourth grade – I'm not saying she's a hobbit, I'm just saying if someone was missing in Middle Earth she'd fit the description."

I start laughing again and he laughs with me. "Sounds like her." I say and drink a bit of my coffee.

"And I had the most breathtaking view of New York City... In the dream." He continues. "My office was as big as a small country and Malerie was my publisher. I even had a piano and you were sitting there, getting ready to play something for me."

I smile at him. "I love playing for you." I say. "I can teach you someday if you want."

"Oh Blaine, I'd love that!" He smiles at me. "There was a photo of me and you and..." he hesitates a little.

"What?" I ask and take his hand again.

"I think we were _married_." He says then. I stare at him and suddenly smile. He smiles too. "Do you think we'll still be boyfriends in the future?" He asks.

I squeeze his hand. "I don't know, but... I really hope so." I say.

"Me too."

"I mean," I look into his eyes. "I've never known anyone like you... I'm _crazy_ about you." I smile and lean closer to him, looking deep into his crystal blue eyes. He smiles and looks at my lips. My breathing quickens and my heart starts beating faster and then we're suddenly kissing.

It's long and beautiful and _oh my god_ his lips has never been this _soft_. I put my hand on his cheek and he grabs my shoulders, kissing me harder.

"Hey! Get your own room _faggots_!" Someone yells at us and we immediately pull away from each other. The man is sitting a few tables away from us and he's looking at us with disgust in his eyes. He has the perfect view of our table because this side of the coffee shop is almost empty.

I swallow and take my coffee. Kurt looks at him and yells back. "If you don't like it then don't look you shithead!" I look at Kurt wide-eyed, but he doesn't seem afraid. He's angry.

The man narrows his eyes and spits on the floor, but he doesn't bother us again after he turns away. Then he leaves and we both sigh in relief.

I take Kurt's hand and smile at him. "You're my brave knight in the shining armor, have I told you yet?" I say.

"You haven't." He smiles and kisses me again.

"I hate how people hate us and-"

"Not all people hate us, Blaine. They just don't understand," Kurt says. I look into his eyes.

"Do you know what my dream is?" I smile. "To be married by thirty... legally." Kurt smiles too.

"I hope that someday it'll be legal in all fifty states. Can you imagine that?" He asks, looking somewhere behind me, slightly smiling.

"The perfect future." I say. Suddenly he smirks and looks at me again. "What?" I ask, smiling.

"You know what else happened in my dream?" He says.

"What?"

"I hung up on Oprah." We both laugh and kiss again. "And then there were alien transvestites taking over the Earth and I lost a game of limbo to Margaret Thatcher in a room full of ferrets." He adds.

"You and your imagination." I smile and finish drinking my coffee. It was almost cold anyway. "You know what did _I_ dream about yesterday?" I ask. Kurt shakes his head.

"I was having a dinner with my mom, in a beautiful garden." I smile sadly. "You were there too." I add. "And she liked you and said that we could marry if we want."

"That's beautiful." Kurt smiles. "Maybe it'll happen someday. You and me with your mom having dinner. You never know."

" _That_ will never happen." I say and look down. He takes both my hands and looks into my eyes.

"Always remember Blaine. Hope dies _last_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. I wrote it about a year ago - exactly on the day that Barack Obama made gay marriage legal in all 50 states, and even though I don't live in the USA, I just had to mention it in this chapter. The whole story (and the movie) is set in 2012 though when it wasn't legal yet, that's why they were only talking about it.


	18. Just Smile

It's Wednesday, 24th of October and today has been great so far. The Friday meeting must have been pretty convincing because since Monday I got at least ten literary submissions. Claire and coach Colin must have gotten the word out to their armies of athletes and cheerleaders like I wanted them to because the amount of stories I got from all of them was overwhelming.

The submissions were rushed and short but it didn't matter because at least the Northwestern University will see that I inspired students to write. I know that they've already taken me in, but I just need to finish this.

Blaine wanted to stay at school today a bit longer, so I'm driving to the Clover Assisted Living Home to visit my grandma and then I'll come back to drive him home. I still can't believe that we're sharing a room. And my _bed_. I smile.

Blaine said that he wanted to stay at school because he found some after-school activity or something. He said it's some singing club and well, he's really good singer so I hope he'll like it there. At least he'll have something to cheer himself up after what his parents did to him.

I park the car outside the building and go inside. "So I'm blackmailing the entire school to better my chances of getting into the university of my dreams." I say as I enter my grandma's room and put down my bag next to the door. "And it's exhilarating!" I laugh and sit down on a chair next to the table in the room. "I mean, who would have thought one of my greatest achievements would be criminal?"

"Get out of here." Grandma suddenly says, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Oh no," I whisper and look at her. "Not today grandma, please don't do this, not today-"

"Get out!" She says again. "Get out, get out, I do not know you, get out!" She yells at me.

"Okay, I-I'm leaving." I say and quickly leave the room. I don't want to be sad because this just _happens_. It's not the first time that my grandma forgot me completely, but it still hurts and... and I'm _sad_. It's hard enough to see her almost every day and not have her recognize me, but to be considered a stranger by the person you love the most in your family is a different serving size of heartache.

I sigh and go back to my car outside. Then I drive to school to take Blaine from that singers' club and back home. I can't wait to see him. I was in such a good mood the whole day and then suddenly I'm feeling like I could just die any moment. I really love my grandma and to see her like that is really hard and now thanks to that I feel like shit.

I park in the student's parking lot and wait for Blaine. It doesn't take long and I see him walking from the main entrance. He's talking to someone - it's a really big black girl. I've never seen her before, or I didn't think she was worth remembering. I've never talked to her, that's for sure.

Blaine notices me and waves at me. She does too and he tells her something. She nods and then she goes her own way while Blaine runs toward me.

"Hi!" He smiles and envelops me in a huge hug, almost suffocating me.

"Well, hello Mr. HappyFace." I smile and enjoy his hug as long as I can with my cheek on his neck. "Who was that?"I ask after he lets me go and opens the door to my car.

"Oh, that was Mercedes," he smiles. "She's in the glee club and she has the best voice I've _ever_ heard."

"I'm sure you're much better." I smile and briefly kiss him on the cheek as he finally gets into the car. "At least from what I've heard from you I think you'd be the best on Broadway in years." I say and sit next to him, starting the car.

"No," He laughs. "Seriously, I'm not that good."

"Yes, you are." I mumble and frown when the car doesn't want to start. "Jesus not again." I growl and get out of the car. The key is in the ignition, the left passenger window is open as usual and the radio is turned to a Spanish classics station. So where's the problem? _The damn piece of machinery still doesn't start._ Blaine watches me curiously as I go and slam the glove compartment and kick the rear license plate. Then I sit back next to him and turn the key. The familiar sound returns and I sigh loudly. _Finally._

"What happened?" He asks gently, looking at me. I don't know why, but it's disturbing, annoying. _Please just stop making me feel so vulnerable._

"What do you mean?" I say, looking in front of me, trying not to kill the both of us with my frustration. When did the sorrow from earlier turn into this anger?

"Something must have happened, you're angry." He says. I relax a bit and close my eyes for a second. I open them again and take a deep breath, concentrating on driving.

"I'm not... I'm not _angry."_ I say but don't look at him. "I went to visit my grandma." I sigh. "And... and she didn't recognize me. At all. I mean, she always thinks I'm just a friend of her grandson, but today it was different. She thought I was a stranger and she kicked me out of her room." I say and feel my eyes burn a little.

"I'm so sorry." I hear him whisper.

"It's okay, it's _okay_ ," I say and swallow loudly. I can't get this emotional, I'm driving for god's sake. "It happened before, I just... I just wish she was okay." I say. "I wish she looked me in the eye and said _my name._ " I say and quickly wipe my wet eyes with my sleeve.

"Kurt-"

"Can we please talk about something else?" I ask, trying to cheer myself up. "Erm how... how was the club?" I say and clear my throat. He doesn't answer for at least twenty seconds and he just keeps staring at me. I don't see his face though, I don't want to see, I have to pay attention to the road and I'm afraid that the moment I'd see his sad eyes I'd start crying for real. And I haven't cried in a _long_ time. "Blaine?"

"Oh, yeah, the club." He says and looks away from me. "It was nice." He smiles. Yes, his smile. That's exactly what I need. And I'm not being sarcastic here, I need to make myself happy again and his warm smile is the perfect reason to be.

"How many people were there?" I ask him.

"Oh, about ten. They were all really nice and the teacher was the nicest." He smiles. "We sang a lot and he gave us some homework, so I'll be singing much more from now on."

"I'm glad, your voice is amazing." I smile. "I could listen to you forever."

"I love you." He suddenly says and it's the first thing since the grandma incident that really made me smile from my heart today.

"I love you too."


	19. Rainy Stories

One day later, on Thursday, I'm waiting in the parking lot for Kurt. I wonder how many times it's been that I've waited here for him. Or that he's waited here for me. Even though Kurt hates the parking lot, it's become a place where we meet each other almost every day after school. He always drives to his grandma when I have Glee, and that's where we'll soon be heading to.

I smile when I see him in the entrance of the school, he's frowning at people around him. His hair is tousled a little and he's wearing his blue hoodie with a bag around his shoulder. He always wears something blue.

I wave at him and he immediately waves back, smiling all of a sudden.

When I was little, I heard some old man saying that _when a girl smiles at you every time she sees you, then she's the one._ Well, in my case it's a boy, not a girl, but it doesn't change the fact that Kurt smiles at me every time and I _always_ smile back. I... I think that _he's the one._ The one I've been waiting for my whole life.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" He asks and only then I realize that he's already standing right in front of me. I smile at him and he smiles too.

"You." I reply. His smile gets even bigger and he kisses me, right on the lips. "Come on, we've got to go." I laugh when he doesn't stop kissing me.

"Don't wanna," He mumbles against my lips and I pull away, making him groan.

"But I want to meet your grandma." I smile. He rolls his eyes.

"Okay."

Then we both get into the car and Kurt starts it. We're driving mostly in silence, but it's not that awkward silence, it's comfortable like this. After a few minutes I speak up.

"Do you think she'll like me?"

"Of course!" He says. "Blaine, she doesn't even know who I am, she thinks that I'm just her grandson's friend. Well, much older friend. It's gonna be for her as if her grandson's friend got himself a boyfriend. Nothing else."

"Yeah," I sigh. "I wish she knew who I was. And who _you_ are. I wish she could see us like your mom does." I smile sadly at him.

"Yeah," He whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear it. "Me too."

After a few minutes we're finally there, at the Clover Assisted Living Home. Kurt parks the car and we get out. Then we walk into the building and up the stairs, to the left and then we stop in front of a white door. I look at Kurt – he's smiling. Then he knocks.

"Come in!" Says an old woman's voice. Kurt opens the door and goes inside, I follow him slowly. The room isn't big, but it's enough. There's a little table and a closet for clothes. In the middle is a bed that's leaning against the wall and in the bed is an old woman, Kurt's grandma.

"Hi grandma." Kurt greets.

"Hello there," she smiles at us and stands up. "Who are you?" She asks then, looking at Kurt.

"I'm Carson, your grandson." Kurt says.

His grandma looks at him and slowly takes his hand. "No, you can't be my grandson." She explains with patience. "My grandson is a little boy." She says then. "Are you his teacher? Did he do something? I'm telling you, Carson is a good boy."

"No, no I'm not his teacher." Kurt laughs, but it isn't happy. It's sad.

"Are you his friend?" She asks then.

Kurt nods. "Yeah," he smiles. "Yeah you got me, I'm his friend."

"That's good. That Carson has friends. Everybody needs a friend sometimes. You know, he's been so sad lately. I think it's because of his parents, they're always arguing." She says.

"Well, he's happy now." Kurt assures her and squeezes her hand. She smiles at him.

"I'm very glad to hear that. But he never comes to visit me anymore." She says sadly. I can see how this stabbed Kurt right in the heart. He's here, he's right here, holding her hand. If only she could see that. "You know," She suddenly continues. "He used to write me stories." Kurt and I laugh. "I remember the first story he ever wrote me." She clears her throat and looks out of the window. " _Once upon a time, there was a boy._ " She chuckles. "I told him it could use a little development, so the next day he brought me another story. _Once upon a time, there was a boy who wanted to fly."_

"That's beautiful," I smile at her.

"And who are you?" She asks, looking at me curiously.

"Erm," Kurt laughs and with his other hand reaches for my hand. I take it and squeeze. "That's my boyfriend." He says and looks at his grandma, waiting for her reaction.

She looks at him and then at me and then at our hands. Then she smiles slowly. "That is your boyfriend?" She asks Kurt.

"Yes," Kurt answers and smiles. "He's a very good person." He says and I blush.

"I'm sure he is." She says. "It's so beautiful that you two found love." She smiles at us and takes my other hand, finishing the circle. "You know where you two should go?" She suddenly whispers.

Kurt and I lean forward and then she says, "Go to the yellow house at the end of the William Street." She winks. "It used to be a gay bar."

Kurt and I start laughing and his grandma joins us after a while. "I had some really adventurous and curious friends, you know? When I was young, oh I miss that. Being young." She laughs. "But at least all I have to worry about now is my back and medicines." She smiles. "No bills."

We stay at the Clover Assisted Living Home for another half an hour, then we both say goodbye and go outside. The wind is blowing hard, maybe it will rain, but that doesn't stop us from stopping at the coffee shop on our way home.

As we park the car outside the shop, it's already raining, but just a little bit, not much yet.

"Looks like a storm is coming." Kurt says and points at the sky behind us. There's a huge black cloud all over the horizon.

"Yeah, we should probably hurry." I say.

"I don't mind getting wet, do you?" Kurt asks and smiles at me. I smile back.

"Not at all," I say and take his hand as we go inside. I order the coffee and then we take a seat near the window. When I look outside, it's already raining. Seems that we'll get wet anyway.

"Your grandma is really nice." I smile at him and take his hand.

"She is," Kurt answers, looking down into his bag and pulling some papers out. "I really used to write her stories, you know?" He smiles at me. "I wonder how does she even remember the first one. I didn't."

"That's because she loves you." I say and squeeze his hand.

"Yeah," he smiles a bit sadly. "You know, I think I was a pretty good writer even when I was eight years old, now even better, but some people aren't able to write anything logic." He laughs.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, one girl, a cheerleader," he says and points at the papers in his hand. "Came to me yesterday and wrote about Justin Bieber, apparently she wants to marry him some day, and I think she's dead serious."

"You're kidding." I laugh. "I mean, that's crazy."

"Yeah, it seems that she drives over to his house every weekend with other fangirls and just stays there for hours, staring through the gates, waiting for him to come outside. It's creepy."

"It's weird." I say and take those papers from his hand to look at it. The first sentence that I read is:

_It was great: We were gabbing about Selena Gomez (who will always be known to me as "the other woman") and we blasted his music from a mobile iHome and predicted future Grammy nominations for his latest album, the usual._

"Wait, hear this." Kurt says and grabs the papers back. He searches for a few seconds between the paragraphs and then when he finds what he was looking for, he clears his throat and reads aloud.

" _I believe you're in my spot, Miss Morgan," Renee said to me. Which was a total lie – everyone knows the twenty-eight to thirty-first iron bars on the east side of his house's gate is my area._

We both start laughing, and then the waitress finally brings us our coffee. We thank her and I pay and then we both take a sip.

"Does she seriously think that he's gonna come outside to see her?" I laugh.

"Yeah," Kurt laughs too, "and be like 'Girl, I've watched you watching me for months now and I think I love you.'" It seems like we can't stop laughing. "Seriously, why aren't her parents doing their job, where are they," Kurt says and takes another sip. "Youth is not an excuse for insanity."

"No, wait, that's not true." I say and the way he looks up at me makes it so much harder to keep my face straight. "I _am_ insane." I tell him and lean a bit closer. "I'm _crazy_. I'm crazy about you." I say and Kurt blushes immediately and looks down with the most adorable smile on his face.

"And I am about you." He says as he looks up at me and kisses me, not caring about other people in the shop. It's a quick kiss, but it means everything. It means _love_.

"Oh no," Kurt suddenly says as we pull apart.

"What?" I ask.

"I forgot to show my grandma the poem." He says and starts flipping through the papers on the table.

"Yours?" I ask, looking at the papers and essays. I have to admit, he has a lot of them. How many cheerleaders and football players is even in this school?

"No," he says and grins when he finally finds it. "Some jock came to me earlier today and turned in a submission for the magazine. I thought it was cute and innocent poem about his dog, but after some further reflection I'm convinced it's about... well, read it yourself."

I look at him suspiciously and take the paper. Then I look at it and when I'm finished reading it, I burst out laughing all over again.

_You greet me in the morning,  
_ _Wanting to play,  
_ _The stay with me hanging,  
_ _For the rest of the day._

_The same things stimulate us,  
_ _That's very true,  
_ _We spend time together,  
_ _Wish I had two of you._

_You'll always be my best bud  
_ _Until the end,  
_ _Thanks for always being  
_ _My special little friend._

Kurt starts laughing with me again. "That's gross." I laugh.

"Yeah it is," He laughs. "I can't believe he actually wrote something like this and that I'm going to put it into the Literary Magazine."

"Wait, you are?" I ask, still smiling widely.

"Of course, I mean, it's horrible... but at least it's funny."

"That's true." We laugh again and as I want to take another sip I suddenly freeze. Kurt looks at me, clearly worried, but I can't stop looking at him. That _man_ , right in the entrance of the shop.

_Dad._

I know that Kurt already knows who am I looking at because I feel his fingers sneaking in between mine. He squeezes my hand and says something. I think he suggests that we go back to the car even if it's raining.

I want to nod, but my head doesn't move. I gasp when I see that my dad noticed us. He looks me in the eyes, then at Kurt and at our joined hands.

"It's okay, Blaine." I hear Kurt's voice. "It's okay, we can leave now." He says and with his other hand takes his bag. My dad is still looking at me and he frowns with a clear disgust on his face. And I can't bear it. Not now, when I finally felt _alright_ again. I feel a tear roll down my face before Kurt catches it with his thumb. That's when I finally look into his eyes. He's already standing, so I stand too, and we walk out of the shop, still holding hands and avoiding my dad as best as we can, ignoring him calling my name.

Suddenly the rain doesn't feel that okay at all. It hides my tears, but it's cold and I just want to go _home._

 _Our_ home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved the book Chris wrote for the movie and I just had to put here the poem because it's HILARIOUS!! XD The whole book is hilarious actually and full of sarcasm, I really recommend reading it if you haven't already. :D  
> I hope you liked the chapter! :)  
> (little spoiler: Something really good happens to Blaine in the next chapter! I hope you'll like it, I'll update tomorrow :) )


	20. Mommy, The Separator

It's Friday, only one day later, and I'm waiting for Kurt in the student's parking lot again. But today it's different. It's Friday and no homework for Saturday, so I can't wait until we're back home and I can snuggle with my boyfriend in his bed.

I smile.

Today Kurt's gonna be a bit late, he has a student council meeting right now. He told me how other kids from the council wanted him to be quiet during the whole next meeting - November fifth, and I have to admit that sometimes, Kurt can just... disappear and the Hulk takes over. That happened last Friday at the meeting in the journalism classroom.

I have nowhere to go and I don't want to go home alone, but it's taking too long. I'm thinking about sitting down on the curb, but I don't sit down yet.

I look at the entrance of the school again and I see one of the kids from Glee walking out of the door. It's Finn. He sees me and waves his hand as he smiles, so I wave at him too and then he turns away and walks away, probably home. But who knows? I heard he was a quarterback.

Another five minutes pass and nothing happens, so I sit down on the curb and start humming my favorite song from Glee. Then I look at my wristwatch. Kurt should walk out of the building in about forty minutes.

"Blaine!" Someone yells my name and in a fraction of a second I know who that person is. I can never forget that voice.

_Mom?_

I look up and see her walking in a swift pace toward me. I stand up quickly and can't stop looking at her. I know it's been barely two weeks that I haven't seen her, actually now that I think about it, it's been exactly eleven days, but god how I missed her.

In a few seconds she's next to me, and I want to take a step back, I do, but instead I let her hug me because who wouldn't want to hug his mom? She wraps her arms around my back and almost squeezes the life out of me. She keeps saying my name and is sniffling near my ear. I hesitantly return the hug and in a few seconds I feel like everything's okay. We're family and it feels like she loves me and hugs me after my first break-up.

But I know it's not like this.

"Mom?" I say and she slowly lets go of me. "What are you doing here?" Now that I hear my voice, I realize it's trembling. I really did miss her.

"I wanted to see you, everything's alright again, I promise, sweetheart." She says and smiles at me with tears in eyes.

"What do you mean?" I ask her, shaking my head slightly. Suddenly I wish Kurt was here with me and helped me face her.

"I kicked him out, your dad." She explains.

"What?" I ask, looking at her. How did she- how could she-

"I didn't know what he did until yesterday." She says then. "Last Monday, when I returned home and you weren't there, I asked your dad what happened and I feel so incredibly ashamed that I believed him when he said that you decided to go camping with your friend you brought home."

"Wait, dad did this? He told you that crap?" I'm crying all of a sudden.

"Yes." She answers. "And I'm so, so sorry for believing him. He said that you still went to school, but slept with him near Clover in the forest with a bunch of other friends. I wanted to call you that night to ask how your trip was going and if you needed anything, but he said I can't call you." She takes a deep breath. "He told me I can't ever call you or text you that you wanted to be alone, and then, when he stole my phone I knew something was not right."

"H-How did you find out?" I ask her.

"This Wednesday, he came home late and drunk and I told him I found the phone. That's when he hit me."She looks down and then I notice something I didn't notice before. It's hidden beneath make-up, but I can see that she has a bruise on her left cheek.

"No he didn't..." I shake my head. "He hit me too." I admit.

"Oh baby," she sniffles again and looks at me so apologetically. "He got angry and started swearing a lot, he called you a... a faggot and said that you no longer are his son and then... I just kicked him out. I couldn't believe he did that, you know? Hell, I can't even believe I married that man, that I loved him." She is crying too.

"Mom!" That's exactly the moment when I close the distance between us again and throw my arms around her, hugging her as tight as I can. I can't believe this, she came back for me. She saved me, like every mom should.

"Blaine," she whispered after a minute and looked into my eyes. "I want you to know something, I am completely and honestly okay with you being who you are. I don't care that you're gay." She smiles and I feel fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. "All I care about is that you are happy." She continues. "I will never call you names like your father did, you're the way that you are and that's alright, you can only be happy if you're yourself and no one else." She kisses my forehead and I close my eyes.

"Mom," I whisper and look at her. "Thank you."

"There's nothing to be thankful for, honey. Every mom should protect her child at all cost, I'm just sorry that I didn't do that earlier."

"Mom I have to tell you something," I swallow and hope that what she just said is all true. "I have a boyfriend." I say. She laughs.

"I know you have," she puts her hand on my shoulders.

"How?" I ask.

"Blaine, I'm your mom, of course I know." She smiles at me. "Did you really think that I would believe you when you brought him home and said he was there as your Algebra tutor?" We both laugh. "I saw the way you were looking at him. It was like you have never met anyone more beautiful than him, that's when I realized that. You were looking at him as if he was your angel or something."

I smile and hug her again. "I... thank you." I say. "I was so scared that you wouldn't be supportive."

"But I am, and that's what's important." She smiles. "And I have a question for you. Dad is gone and I'm all alone in our house." I look up at her. Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting? "Do you want to see your room every day again?" She asks. "Do you want to go home?"

_Home._

Suddenly the word _home_ feels so different. Always when I thought of home, I thought of my room and my guitar, my piano and my bed, my mom on my bed, reading me a bedtime story.

But since I met Kurt, _home_ doesn't feel the same. Because since I met him and we became boyfriends, home isn't a place. It's a person, it's _him_. I feel at home when I'm with him, wherever that might be.

But my mom is my mom. And I can't let her there alone with all those horrible memories of a man she used to love. I just can't. I can see Kurt every day at school and on dates, and even at night if our moms allow it.

So that's my answer.

"Yes, I do." I smile at her and brush away my tears. "Mom." she smiles and hugs me again.

xoXOXox

It turns out that mom's car's parked near the school, so the first thing we do is that I show her the way to Kurt's house so I can pack my things again. It's incredible how easily we can talk near each other, as if nothing ever happened.

"So..." mom smiles, but doesn't look at me. "This boyfriend of yours, what's his name? I can't remember."

For some reason I blush and start smiling. "Um, he's Kurt. Actually Carson. Carson Phillips. Carson Kurt Phillips." I answer and laugh. "Everyone at school and his mom calls him Carson, but I call him Kurt. He says he likes it better anyway, and I do too."

My mom laughs. "So you get to be the only one who calls him that, hm? So romantic."

I laugh. "Yeah, I guess-"

"I'd love to meet him." She suddenly says. "He should come over for dinner sometime. And his mom should too, I want to get to know them."

My mouth is agape. "Wait, are you serious?" I ask.

"Of course I'm serious, Blaine." She says. She looks so sure about this. "Listen," she smiles at me. "Do you love him?"

I blush again. "Yes." I say. "Yes, I do."

"Then I want to meet him." She says again. "And I'm sure he'd like to meet me too, if you two lovebirds stay together, we all should know each other."

"Okay." I smile. "I'll tell him when I'm back home."

_Home._

After we arrive at Kurt's house, to my surprise, Kurt's mom _isn't_ asleep on the couch. She opens the door, greets my mom and then they start talking, probably about the dinner my mom wants to invite them to. I go to Kurt's room and find all my stuff. It's not a lot because I had to pack my things very quickly, but after ten minutes, I go back downstairs and we leave.

When we finally arrive at our house, I ran up the stairs to my room and jump into my soft bed. It feels like ages since I've been here. I start playing the piano and sing a little, and then I lie down, back into my bed. I look at my wristwatch. Kurt should be walking out of school right now, so I take my phone and text him.

_My mom came for me. She kicked dad out and I'm back in my room. Call u later._

Sent.

After a few seconds, my phone beeps and I see that Kurt answered my text.

_That's great, happy for you. I'm heading home, can't wait to hear your voice._

I smile and that's when my mom opens the door to my room. She's smiling and lets out a happy sigh.

"Hungry?" She asks then.

"Hell yeah."

xoXOXox

Today's meeting, ugh. I'm so glad it's over, and I'm so glad for what happened to Blaine, but I miss him already. I got so used to hear his voice every day, every minute after school. I just want him here, next to me, lying on my bed.

I sigh and close my eyes. Everyone at the meeting was so weird. They all agreed on whatever I said, and I never thought it would be so annoying. It was a lot more fun when I got to argue with them, but they thought I'd make them write more if they didn't let me make all the decisions.

My phone suddenly rings.

_Blaine!_

I didn't know it was possible to become so happy in just a fraction of second, but as soon as I heard the ringing, my heart started beating faster and I started grinning.

I pick up the phone.

"Blaine, hi!" I say, cheerfully. I hear him laugh.

"Kurt," He just says. "I miss you already."

"I miss you too." I admit. "I got so used to you around."

"Same for me, I want to see you _now_ , not only at school when we have to pay attention to whatever the teachers are talking about."

"Well, at least I hear your voice now." I smile. "And we can always see each other on weekends and dates. By the way, how's your mom? Everything good?" I ask then.

"Yeah, yeah, actually, it's amazing." I can hear how happy he is. "She doesn't mind I'm gay at all and she said she loves me already four times today." We both laugh. "I'm in my room right now."

"Did your dad destroy something in there?" I ask him. There is always this possibility.

"Um, no, I don't think so." He answers. "And that's good news because if he did something to my piano, I'd have to find him and punch him or something."

"And I'd help you." I smile. "He deserves it."

"Yes, he does. He even punched my mom." He says.

I sigh. "Two boys with daddy issues found each other and fell in love." I smile. It sounds like a good title for something.

"You should write a book for that." Blaine says. It's as if he just read my mind.

"But I'm not a novelist, I'm a journalist." I answer. "But maybe. Someday."

"I'd write a song for us." Blaine says. "And I'd sing it to you and then we'd sing it together. It would be a duet."

"I'd love that." I smile, sighing dreamily and lying on my belly instead.

"How was your meeting?" He asks.

"Oh, you mean that boring hour I have to spend with the people I hate and who hate me? Well, what do you think? _Boring._ " I answer. "I don't know why they're always so annoyed with me. They should be thankful I'm there to tell them how stupid their ideas are."

He laughs. "They can't appreciate your help."

"No, they can't." I say. "One lunch lady is retiring next month and we were given fifty dollars to get her a retirement gift. And you know what Claire wanted to get her?" I laugh a bit. "Mixing bowls or a toaster oven!"

"That's stupid." Blaine comments.

"Right?" I agree.

"Oh, and by the way... my mom wants to meet you." He says then. "And your mom." He adds.

"... what?" I sit down on my bed.

"Well, she said that she knew we were dating right from the first moment she met you, but she didn't say anything, so now she wants to meet you, get to know you. She already asked your mom."

"Well, and what did she say?" I ask.

"To ask you." he answers. "Please, just come over to dinner."

I laugh. "I wasn't going to say _no._ " I smile.

"I love you so much." He says.

"I love you too." I smile again. "When's the dinner?"

"Saturday, tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, something happy :)


	21. Perfect To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for fluff and a duet! :D

It's weird, really. Standing in front of my boyfriend's house with my mom, waiting for him to open the door. I'm half-expecting his father's face to show up after the door opens, but nothing happens. I look at my mom. She doesn't wear dresses, at least I don't remember the last time she wore one, but now she has a skirt. Well, at least it's not a bathrobe and sunglasses, maybe she wants to impress Blaine's mom. She's really trying to get better, I have to admit that.

"Carson," she says, looking at me. I look at her like _what?_ And then it hits me when she looks at the door. I haven't even rung the bell yet.

"Oh, right." I smile a bit and press the little button next to the door. It rings. Then I hear footsteps from inside, coming from upstairs. _Blaine._

When the door finally opens and I see my boyfriend's smiling face, I grin myself and hug him as tight as possible. "Hi," he laughs and pulls away, shaking hands with my mom.

"Hello, Blaine." She smiles at him.

"Welcome, Ms. Phillips," he greets her and leads us inside. Then he closes the door behind us. It's been twelve days since I've been here and it looks exactly the same. Only it's much more comfortable here now that I know there's no crazy poor excuse of a father waiting upstairs.

We enter the living room and Blaine's mom greets us happily. She has long beautiful green dress and long, wavy, dark brown hair, just like Blaine. She comes to me and my mom and shakes our hands. "Kurt, Ms. Phillips, I'm so happy you accepted our invitation." She smiles excitedly.

"Me too, the last time I was here was two weeks ago." I say. Blaine's mom's smile wavers a little bit and then I realize how inappropriate my comment was. It only reminded her of her husband, but in a second it's gone and she's nodding and smiling again.

"I'm Pamela by the way." She smiles at my mom.

"Sheryl," my mom replies.

"Come on, I'll show you the kitchen," Pamela says and takes my mom away. Blaine grins at me and I grin at him, we're alone in the room now.

"See?" I say. "Your dream came true." I smile at him and he nods and comes closer to me.

"It did," he says. "Now all we have to do is make your dream come true. I really think you'd be a great journalist in New York Times." He smiles at me and hugs me. I hug him back and bury my head in his neck, even though he's shorter than me. It just doesn't matter.

"Thank you." I breathe in and breathe out, enjoying every minute of it.

"I love you." He smiles.

"I love you too," I laugh and close my eyes, hugging him tighter. Then we slowly pull apart and join our moms in the kitchen.

"...really can't believe I married that man." We hear Blaine's mom telling my mom.

"I had the same luck in men, believe me, mine left me with a kid." My mom says. "And I was drunk ever since, almost 24/7." She adds.

"That's horrible." Blaine's mom agrees. "I honestly can't wait until we get divorced."

"You know, he visited me a few weeks ago." Sheryl says. "Only because he wanted me to sign the divorce papers." They both laugh and then they notice us.

"Oh, hello boys," Pamela asks us. "Kurt, do you want anything to drink? Juice, lemonade, coca cola..."

"Um, lemonade's fine." I smile.

"Okay," she says and opens the fridge, pulling out a bottle of freshly bought lemonade. Then she gives me a glass, pouring the lemonade in it. "Here you go." She smiles at me.

"Thanks." I answer.

"Sheryl?" She turns to my mom. "Wine?" She asks then. My mom looks at her and then at me and slowly shakes her head.

"No, thank you." She says. "I've been drinking wine since I can remember... or can't remember. I'll take lemonade too."

"As you wish." Pamela says and gives her some lemonade as well.

"Dinner is almost ready," she informs us. "It'll only take about twenty minutes and we can eat."

We all nod and then Blaine's suddenly takes my hand. "I guess, we'll be upstairs." He smiles at me and I smile back.

"Okay, honey, but I don't have to tell you that we don't want to hear anything suspicious, okay?" She looks at her son and he rolls his eyes.

" _Mom,_ " he groans and then quickly leaves with me in tow. I can't help but giggle a bit. As soon as he closes the door behind me, he smiles. "Welcome back to my room," he says.

"I've been here before." I say, laughing.

"I know," he looks at me. "I know. I just... all the memories, you know? Good and bad." Then he stands next to his bed and lets his body fall down into the soft blanket. "Argh." He groans. "This honestly feels so good.

I laugh and fall into his bed right next to him with my mouth against the bed. "hou'so highth." I mumble.

"What?" He laughs, leaning on an elbow, facing me. "I turn around to lie on my back instead and smile. "I said you're so right." I answer and close my eyes.

Suddenly there's a shadow over my head and I open one eye. Blaine's head is filling my whole view with his broad smile and dreamy gaze. "This is where we said _I love you_ for the first time." He whispers.

I raise my hand and brush my fingers against is cheek. "It is." I whisper back. "The most perfect moment, remember?"

He laughs and nods his head. I look into his eyes and then at his lips. God they look so delicious, as always. He looks down at my lips too and I feel my heartbeat speeding up. How can he still make me feel like this after all we've been through together? After everything?

Then he finally leans down and I close my eyes as our lips touch. It's a slow and tender kiss and it feels like heaven. It feels right, like I'm exactly with the right person that I was always meant to be with. It makes me remember how much I love him. How much I care about him as I kiss him back.

I turn us around so he's under me this time as I deepen the kiss and put my fingers on his face. I'd put them in his hair, but I know he wouldn't want me to ruin his gelled hair, and his mom would notice of course. Instead, he puts his fingers in my hair and kisses me harder.

"Boys!" We hear his mom from downstairs and we immediately jump from each other. "Silence is suspicious too, you know?" She yells and then we hear her continue talking to my mom.

We both roll our eyes. "Damn," Blaine laughs. I start laughing too and fall back on top of him.

"At least a few minutes with my boyfriend." I smile and kiss him one more time on his lips. Then I stand up and look at the clock. "We still have at least fifteen minutes." I say and look at Blaine, who's still lying on his bed.

He's smiling at me. "What?" I say.

"Still wanna learn how to play piano?" He asks, smiling like a lunatic.

I laugh and take his hands, helping him stand up. "I'd love that!" I smile and hug him again. He smiles and leads me to his piano in the corner of the room. He puts there another chair and lets me sit closer to the middle of the piano.

"These," He points at all the black and white keys, "are keys." I chuckle.

"Yeah, that's pretty much all I know." I tell him. He smiles.

"Okay, so the white ones are for the... um... 'normal' tones and the black ones are sharps or flats." He says. "Every sharp increases a note's pitch by half a step, and every flat lowers a note's pitch by half a step." He points at the black keys. Then he points at some random white keys, saying,"except these keys." I'm sure he knows which key it is. "E and F because F is already 'sharpened' E, there's only half a step between them, and that means that this is actually not-"

"Whoa wait... wait," I stop him. "That's too complicated and we don't have time for this. "I say, looking completely lost, and that's exactly what I am. "I've no idea what you're talking about." I say. "I don't understand anything you just said, it's like a different language for me."

He sighs and smiles. "Sorry, I got a bit carried away." He looks at me and then at the piano. "Here," he says and takes my hands. "Put them here." He puts my hands on the piano's keyboard, Three fingers of each hand on some keys.

"What am I supposed to do," I ask.

"Press." He smiles at me and I press my fingers down on the keys. It seems unbelievable, but it makes the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I start grinning and pressing the keys again and again. Blaine laughs. "What is this? What am I playing?" I ask, excitedly.

"Um, it's just a C chord." He smiles. "Look, with left hand you're holding C, E and G and with your right hand you're holding G, C and E."

"I have no idea how can you know which keys am I holding when they all look the same, but it sounds beautiful." I laugh.

"Wait for this." He smirks and I put my hands away. He puts his own hands on the piano, each finger on a different key and then he looks up at me. "Put your fingers on top of mine." He says.

"What?"

"Just do it, you'll see." He says and after he gives me a reassuring smile, I do what he wants. With each my fingertip I touch his fingernails, until my hands are positioned exactly on top of his. Then he slowly starts playing, and where his fingers go, so go mine.

Wait, I know this melody. "Is it..." I start hesitantly and listen some more. Blaine doesn't sing, but the melody is so familiar. Almost like a... I gasp. "Is it Teenage Dream?" I ask.

He smiles and continues playing. "Yes it is," he says. It sounds so beautiful. Then he starts to hum quietly and then the humming turns into words and he's singing. I smile. This song warms my heart, it's the first one he's ever played for me. I can still remember how nervous he was back then.

I put my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, just listening and feeling with my fingers every Blaine's move. It's so calming, just listening to him. His whole neck vibrates and I feel like I could just fall asleep like this.

We continue like this for a couple more minutes, playing every song Blaine knows and that he wants to sing to me. Then suddenly his mom opens the door to Blaine's room.

"Dinner is ready." She announces and smiles at us as I slowly lift my head from his shoulder and Blaine stops playing. Then she disappears and we follow her downstairs.

My mom's already sitting at the table, waiting for us to arrive. There are four plates with food and four glasses with lemonade bottle on the table in the middle, next to a little flower in a tiny vase. The plates are full of food and it smells delicious as I sit down, Blaine next to me.

"It's a Bourbon chicken." Blaine's mom says. "My mother used to do this once a month and we all fell in love with it. It's basically just rice and pieces of chicken meat with soy sauce."

Then we all start to eat, finally. Honestly I was really getting hungry and this food is really great. "It's awesome, Ms. Anderson." I say.

"Thank you," she smiles at me. "It's a Chinese food."

After we finish, we all settle around in the living room, while Pamela brings us cake as a dessert. Everyone gets one piece on a little plate. Mom is sitting in an armchair and Blaine's mom on a normal chair. I and Blaine are sitting impossibly close to each other, on a sofa in the middle of the living room.

"Carson," my mom says and I look up. "I'm happy you got into Northwestern, but as you know I didn't want to stay behind, alone in Clover." I nod. What is she suggesting?

"And me neither." Blaine's mom says, looking at both of us. "You guys want to move into your own apartment, right? You want to live together?" She asks then.

"Well, yeah." Blaine, answers, then he looks at me and I nod. "Is it a problem?" He looks back at his mom.

"No, no, it's not. You boys are already grown ups." She smiles. "I'm okay with whatever you decide as long as you're both happy." She added and looked at my mom.

"But we want to come with you." My mom says.

I almost choke on the cake. "What?" I ask, looking at both of them.

"Well," Pamela starts talking again. "You and Blaine are going to be gone. And I don't want to stay here alone, Sheryl doesn't want either, so we decided to go with you, and buy a house on our own."

"So you'll live together?" Blaine asks.

"Yeah, we don't have enough money to afford two houses." my mom says.

"And what about the money grandpa left us?" I ask. I know he left me a car and my mom got a lot of money. She's practically rolling in it.

"Your literary magazine and your new apartment doesn't leave enough for two other houses." She explains. "Even with Pamela's money." Well, that's true, she gave me money for my literary magazine and how can I and Blaine afford our apartment without our parents' money? We certainly don't have enough on our own.

"So you both are okay with it?" Pamela asks, looking at us. I look at Blaine and Blaine looks at me.

"Yes, okay." Blaine smiles. "At least we can visit each other."

Another half an hour later, and we're talking about everything. School, the past, future, everything Blaine and I like, even about Glee. And I must say, Blaine's mom's really nice, and I don't doubt she was telling the truth when she said she supports her son. And our relationship. She seems happy that I and Blaine are together.

I don't even know how, but suddenly we're all talking about Blaine and Glee and his singing club at his old school.

"Yeah, he joined some kind of Glee up," Blaine's mom says. "And he's really good, just last night he was singing in his room and playing the piano." She says. I laugh as I see Blaine's blushing.

"Mom," he says, but she just looks at him innocently.

"What? It's true." She says and I laugh again. Blaine looks at me and suddenly he smirks. No, that doesn't look good, what does he want to do?

"Did you know that Kurt sings really well too?" He says. _No. He wouldn't dare._ I look at him and I make sure that my expression says exactly _what the fuck do you think you're doing?_ He just smiles at me innocently, exactly like his mom did just a minute ago.

"Oh, really?" Pamela asks, smiling at me. I awkwardly smile back. Blaine starts nodding.

"Yeah, he's a countertenor." He smiles. Blaine's mom nods, but my mom looks confused. Blaine looks at her and explains. "That means he has a really high voice," he says and my mom smiles at me. Yeah, basically I sound like a girl.

"I'd love if you two could sing a duet." My mom suddenly says and I freeze. When has everyone here decided to kill me by humiliation?

"Well, we can!" Blaine says enthusiastically. "Just give us a second." He smiles and takes my hand, dragging me upstairs. I barely have enough time to put my plate with the cake on the table, before I'm suddenly in his room again.

I immediately run to his bed and fall in it. "I can't do it, Blaine." I mumble. I feel his hands on my waist and he turns me around, making me look at him.

"Of course you can, Kurt, I've heard you sing and you sing like an angel!" He smiles at me and I close my eyes, covering them with my hands.

"But only to you, Blaine. That's the problem." I take a deep breath. He slowly takes my hands away and kisses me on the lips briefly.

"I believe in you, Kurt." He smiles down at me, making me smile too. "Try to believe in yourself for a few minutes."

"O-okay." I sigh. He climbs off of me and grabs my hand. Then he quickly goes to his table and pulls out at least ten different papers with notes and lyrics.

"These are all duets," he points at them. Yeah, that makes sense, the papers are all in a little file called _Duets For Kurt._ I smile at him.

"You were collecting duets for me?" I ask. He looks at me and smiles.

"Yeah," he says. "I hoped one day we could sing them together." I sigh and sit back on the bed. He sits next to me and gives me one paper.

"Do you know this one?" He asks. It's called _Candles._

"No," I sigh.

"And this one?" It's called _Animal_.

"Nope," I answer. This is so pointless. There are at least eight other songs that he shows me. So many names, _Baby it's cold outside, Come What May, Let It Snow_ (but that one is some jazz version I don't know), _Just Can't Get Enough,_ and others and others.

Blaine goes through all the papers and then I suddenly stop him. "Wait, I know this one."

"What, _Perfect?"_ He asks. I nod.

"Great!" He smiles. "This one's amazing, and I can play it on the piano!" He laughs.

"Do you really think I can do it?" I ask one more time.

He looks at me and smiles. Then he leans closer and kisses me, and then he looks into my eyes. "I _know_ you can do it." He whispers.

"Okay," I whisper too.

"Do you know the lyrics?" He asks and I nod. "Perfect." We both laugh a bit. He takes a yellow highlighter from his table and marks those parts of the lyrics that I'm supposed to sing. The rest is for him to sing. Then he sits to the piano and tries to play it one time, and then he smiles at me. I smile back. I try to sing a little and then he, and I have to admit, it doesn't sound that bad. I just hope I won't screw up.

Not even two minutes later, my mom with Blaine's mom are already standing in the doorway, waiting for the song. I must look really nervous because Blaine tugs at my t-shirt, making me look down at him. "Just look at me when you sing." He whispers. I nod.

Blaine slowly starts playing and I look at him. Just a few seconds and I'm gonna start singing, oh God. Three, two, one-

 _Made a wrong turn once or twice_  
Dug my way out, blood and fire  
Bad decisions, that's alright  
Welcome to my silly life

It's not so hard when I keep looking at Blaine. Blaine smiles at me, still playing the song without mistake and then he starts to sing.

 _Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_  
Miss 'No way, it's all good'  
It didn't slow me down.  
Mistaken, always second guessing  
Underestimated, look I'm still around

And then we both start singing.

 _Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
Like you're less than less than perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me

Honestly, now that I think about it, we sound pretty awesome together. I can't stop smiling while I sing, and I completely forget about my and Blaine's mom, this is about us, not about them.

I start singing again and Blaine repeats everything I sing, like an echo. It sounds amazing.

 _You're so mean (you're so mean)_  
When you talk (when you talk)  
About yourself. You were wrong.  
Change the voices (change the voices)  
In your head (in your head)  
Make them like you instead.

_So complicated,_   
_Look happy, You'll make it_   
_Filled with so much hatred_   
_Such a tired game_   
_It's enough, I've done all I could think of_   
_Chased down all my demons_   
_I've seen you do the same_   
_(Ohh ohhhhhhh)_

The song is almost ending, but suddenly I really, really don't want it to end. I wish this moment could last forever.

 _Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
Like you're less than less than perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me

The song ends and I hear my mom and Pamela clapping their hands, but I don't care. I'm grinning at Blaine and after he stops playing, he looks up at me. He grins too and then we hug, laughing. "I did it!" I laugh into his ear.

"I told you!" He smiles and then I let go of him, taking his hand instead.

"You were incredible!" Blaine's mom says, still clapping her hands. "Carson, you're so talented!" She smiles at me, I try to ignore the blush I feel on my cheeks.

"He is," my mom smiles at me. I smile back.

"Thank you." I say and bow a little. Then I look at Blaine, who's still smiling at me, holding my hand.

"Seriously, don't you want to join Glee club too?" Blaine's mom suddenly asks. I grow silent. I don't know, should I? I mean, it was fun singing here with Blaine, but to join an actual club? I look at Blaine, and he nods, smiling. I smile back and then shrug.

"Why not," I smile at our moms. "I'll join." I answer and Blaine throws his arms around me. And in that moment that he hugs me, I know I won't regret my decision.


	22. New Friends?

I'm waiting in front of a classroom for Kurt, leaning against the wall next to the closed door. The teacher Kurt is with now is famous in the school for not letting his students out of the classroom until they finish everything he wanted them to do, so it might take another three minutes at least until the door opens. I sigh.

I'm so happy that Kurt agreed on joining Glee club, I know he'll be amazing. His voice is so beautiful, and he'd fit in there perfectly. When I asked New Directions (that's the name of our singing group) about Kurt, they said they didn't really know him, but the good thing was that they didn't hate him like the rest of the school according to Kurt does.

I smile a bit. I can't wait until today after school, it's Kurt's first Glee club meeting.

Suddenly the door opens and the students run outside. They apparently don't want to spend another second with their Chemistry teacher, and I have to agree. Chemistry isn't something I'm good at. Then in the middle of all of them I see Kurt's face. He's trying to make his way through and finally get out, but all the other people just keep pushing him backwards to get out themselves. "You're all just cattle!" He yells. "Shit!" He almost falls on the ground, so I reach out my hand and when he finds it and squeezes, I pull him out.

"Thanks," he says and adjusts his backpack and blue shirt. "Why do I have to spend every day with such neanderthals." He mutters and I laugh a bit.

"Was it that bad?" I ask. He looks at me like it's obvious.

"Of course it was, what do you think, Blaine? I hate them, they hate me, end of discussion, that's just the way it is." He says.

"Just remember that I don't hate you, I love you." I say and take his hand. He smiles at me and we head out to our shared class – Algebra.

"I love you too." He says.

"Are you ready for your first Glee club meeting?" I ask him. Suddenly he tenses and closes his eyes.

"Is it today?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Argh," he groans. "I completely forgot about it, do we have to come?" He asks and looks at me desperately.

"Of course we have to come, Kurt. I already told Mr. Schue about you." I say.

"Who's Mr. Schue?"

"Mr. Schuester is the teacher in Glee club, he helps us, sings with us, he's really great." I smile at him and he slowly nods.

"Do you think he'll like me?" He suddenly says and squeezes my hand.

"Of course, he'll like you." I smile. "He loves all new kids joining Glee club! Hell, he probably loves everyone at this school. He's the nicest teacher you'll ever have met." He smiles at me.

"Okay." He says and smiles slightly as we finally reach the right classroom. ", here we go." He smiles as we open the door and go in.

"Just please no more imaginary numbers." I laugh.

xoXOXox

We're walking through the halls, hand in hand, ignoring some strange looks we get even from the teachers. I know the Glee Club classroom is getting dangerously closer and that in a few minutes I'll be standing there, surrounded by people I don't even know. At least Blaine's holding my hand.

I don't want to admit I'm nervous, but that's exactly what I am. I'm nervous as hell and I can do nothing about it, just keep holding Blaine's hand. I have no idea what the whole Glee thing is going to be like. Blaine said they'll like me and I want to believe him, but I'm still worried. I mean, until now I thought everyone at school hated me, why should it suddenly stop being true?

"Are you ready now?" Blaine suddenly asks and I look at him.

"Um.. yeah. No, yes, I don't know." I stutter. I don't want to go there at all, I don't want to risk it.

"Are you nervous?" He asks me and I don't nod, but he knows what my answer is. Then he hugs me briefly and kisses me. "Don't worry, I'll be there with you the whole time." He says and somehow I smile.

Then we finally stop in front of the door and I take a deep breath. Possibly the deepest I've ever taken, and then we go in. There is a bunch of kids in there, sitting on chairs in the corner of the room. There's that black girl Blaine's been talking to few days ago, there's a Latina girl sitting in the back, playing with the hair of a blonde girl. Next to her is another blonde girl and a boy in a wheelchair. I didn't even know we had a kid in a wheelchair in this school...

There are three guys, one sitting hand in hand with a dark haired girl, and then a blonde guy and another guy with a mohawk. Then there's an Asian girl and an Asian guy, sitting next to each other.

Blaine puts his hand on my shoulder, but I still have to take another deep breath. _So many_ people. Is it really possible that none of them could hate me? Should I worry about getting new friends? Malerie and Blaine are enough for me now.

One of the girls stands up as soon as she sees me and goes to me. I want to take a step back, but Blaine's hand stops me.

"Hi!" The girl says and smiles so widely that I almost get worried her mouth could actually get stuck like this. "I'm Rachel, I'm the most talented here, obviously, and-"

"Wait, wait," I stop her as everyone sighs. "The most talented here is my boyfriend over here, okay?" I say and point to Blaine, who blushes a bit. "Don't argue with that." I say.

"I like him." The Latina girl says and smiles at me. I don't smile back. The girl named Rachel looks taken aback, but then she just smiles and shrugs it off, sitting back down to her boyfriend.

"Hi, I'm Finn," he says and smiles at me. Then suddenly the teacher enters the room and Blaine takes my hand, dragging me to two free chairs. The teacher stops me though, and Blaine sits there alone.

"New Directions," the teacher says and points at me. "We have a new member." He smiles at all of them.

"I'm Carson Phillips." I say and smile nervously. I don't like this at all. I'd rather be writing, but I'm doing this for Blaine, and for myself, too.

Then they all decide to tell me their names.

"I'm Mercedes." Says one of the girls.

"I'm Sam."

"Puck."

"Rachel."

"I'm Finn. The quarterback."

"I'm Tina, and this is Mike." The Asian girl says and points at her... boyfriend, I guess?

"I'm Quinn." Says the blonde girl.

"I'm Artie."

"I kinda want to smell your hair." Says the other blonde girl.

"Nice name." I reply.

"She's Brittany," the Latina girl says and rolls her eyes. "And I'm Santana." I nod. Great, so we have the Asians, a wheelchair kid, Black girl, blonde girl, Rude Rachel, Mohawk, Finn, Lesbians, Sam and Blaine with me. Great team.

"And I'm Will Shuester," the teacher says and puts his hands on my shoulders. "Their teacher, and we're all very happy to have you here." He says then.

I finally return to Blaine and sit right next to him. He takes my hand. "Was it the same when you came here?" I ask.

He laughs quietly. "Yes, it was. Especially Rachel." He says and I smile.

"Great," says the teacher. "We should show Kurt what is Glee about, right? What do you guys want to sing?" He asks.

"We should do Don't Stop Believing!" Rude Rachel says.

"Who agrees?" Mr. Shuester asks and a few of the members raise their hands. "Great, so let's do this!" He smiles and then they all stand up and go to the middle of the room. The piano guy starts playing and then they're all singing.

I've heard this song before, but I've never given it any attention. Now on the other hand, it sounds pretty good, I don't even know how, but I'm smiling. Probably because Blaine keeps looking at me the whole time, smiling like an idiot, so I smile back.

Then they finally end.

"And what you, princess, are gonna sing?" The Latina girl asks. I almost choke on my own saliva.

"I'm sorry, wh-what?" I ask.

"You should sing something, we need to know how much talented you are." Rude Rachel looks at me.

"If you don't want to , you don't have to," Mr. Schue says. "You can prepare something for the next time."

"We could sing _You Make Me Feel So Young._ " Blaine whispers to me. "Yesterday you said you know that song and we tried to sing it, remember?"

I nod and smile at him slightly. Then I swallow. "Okay, I can try."

"Can we sing a duet?" Blaine asks Mr. Shuester and he nods. Then he takes my hand and leads me to the middle of the room and suddenly I'm a lot more nervous than before. Singing in front of my mom and Blaine's mom is different than in front of a dozen people I don't even know.

"Don't worry," Blaine smiles at me. "It's gonna be just like on Saturday when we sang to our moms." He says and I nod. "Just look into my eyes and forget about them. This is about us." Then he goes to the piano guy and tells him the song we want to sing. I nervously look at all the kids sitting on their chairs and then at the teacher. He smiles at me.

Then Blaine takes my hand again and I turn to him, looking into his eyes. This is gonna be easy, not a big deal, right? Then the piano starts playing and then... then he's singing.

 _You make me feel so young_  
You make me feel like spring has sprung  
Every time I see you grin  
I'm such a happy individual

_The moment that you speak_   
_I want to run and play hide-and-seek_   
_I want to go and bounce the Moon_   
_Just like a toy balloon_

Then I finally join him.

 _You and I, we're just like a couple of tots_  
Running around a meadow  
Picking up all those forget-me-nots

Then Blaine sings again.

_You make me feel so young_

And then we continue until the song ends.

_You make me feel there are songs to be sung  
_ _Bells to be rung and a wonderful fling to be flung_   


_And even when I'm old and gray  
_ _when I'm old and gray  
_ _I'm gonna feel the way I do today  
_ _Because you make me feel so young_

_You make me young_  
You make me think that spring has sprung  
Every time I see you grin  
I'm such a cuckoo individual

_The moment that you speak_   
_I like to run and play hide-and-seek_   
_I'd like to go and bounce at the Moon_   
_Just like a big balloon_

_Because you and I_   
_We are just like a couple of tots_   
_Who are running around a meadow_   
_Snatching up all those forget-me-nots_

_You make me young  
_ _You make me young  
_ _You make me feel there are songs to be sung_

_Lots of bells to be rung_   
_And a wonderful fling to be flung_

_And even when I'm old and gray_   
_I'm gonna feel the way I do today_   
_Because you make me feel so_   
_Man, I just feel so_   
_You make feel so young_   
_So young!_

Then all I know is that people are clapping their hands, even Rachel and . I can't stop grinning at all of them and at Blaine. I hug him and he hugs me back, laughing. "You did it, Kurt!" He smiles and I nod, pulling away, laughing again.

"You guys are cute," the blonde lesbian – Brittany - says as she claps her hands.

Mr. Schuester is smiling and he comes over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder again. "Welcome to Glee Club!"


	23. Forget It All And Be Happy

I'm in the journalism classroom with Malerie. I'm helping her with her writing, and preventing her from copying everything. She wants to write, and I think she's the only one at this school besides me. Blaine never really wanted to write, he just wanted to get closer to me. I smile when I think about him.

We're going through piles and piles of "her writing" that could be submitted for the magazine. She's convinced a lot of stories and books were all her ideas, but the authors stole it from her, like for example she thinks Suzanne Collins based The Hunger Games on Malerie's single comment on one website. Last week I told her to choose her favorite story and change every other word. The character's names, genders, even the time period.

And now in front of me is the result and I have to decide what can I put into the magazine.

Suddenly my cell phone starts ringing. The only one who ever calls me is Blaine and sometimes mom, so I expect it's my boyfriend. But it's not him. Honestly, it's the last person in the world I ever expected to hear from.

"I just turn my phone off while I'm at school so I don't hear it not ringing," Malerie says. "Who is it?" She asks then.

"M-my dad." I say. Then I finally answer the phone and put it to my ear. "Hello?" I say tentatively.

"Hey, Carson," he says. "I didn't mean to call you after school, I'm sure you're busy with your homework and so forth. Anyway, I have some really exciting news to tell you."

Oh, really? Let me guess, he's calling just because someone made him and he didn't want to talk to me at all.

"I'm getting married!" He says. "Her name is April and we're expecting a baby! You're going to have a baby brother!"

 _He's got to be shitting me._ "You've got to be shitting me," is all I can say.

"Yes, we're very happy, thank you." Dad says. "Anyway, she wants to meet you, so is there any way you could make it over for dinner sometime soon? Say, eight o'clock tonight?"

"I'd have to think about it," I say. This so absolutely crazy, a fucked up situation. Should I go? I mean, he's my dad, but it feels like I'm talking to a stranger. Just hearing his voice feels like he's a deceased family member communicating to me from the beyond.

"Please do – in fact I'd really appreciate it." Dad answers. "Hope to see you soon!"

"Okay," I say and get off the phone. That was really weird.

"What happened?" Malerie asks and leans forward a bit.

"Um... apparently my dad is getting married." I answer and keep looking in front of me. Should I go there? Should I meet him and his new family? His fiancée? Especially after he left me and mom alone?

"Congratulations!" Malerie says and raises her hand to give a high five. I don't respond.

"I guess," I say. "He wants me to have dinner tonight with his fiancée and, well, _baby mama_."

"Are you going to go?" Malerie asks and I don't know. I will have to really think about this.

"I'm not sure." I say and look at her. "Things are complicated between me and my dad because there is absolutely nothing between the two of us. Does that make sense?"

"Totally." She says. "Things are awkward between me and my dad too. He doesn't really have a relationship with me, because he doesn't know I exist."

Wait, really?

"Oh, sorry to hear that." I say. Her situation is actually worse, now I feel like I have to go and meet my dad. I hope it won't be that bad. He has a fiancée after all, maybe she'll be fine. And she's pregnant, god! It's so weird to think that the baby she has in her belly actually shares DNA with me.

God, and how am I going to tell my mom about this? She just stopped thinking about dad. At least she made it sound so.

xoXOXox

I just got back from what has to have been one of the most uncomfortable and awkward dinners in the history of mankind. My dad is such a dick, seriously! He was lying his ass off in front of his future wife, just so it seemed he was a great dad to me. But he wasn't even there the half of my life! And when he was, he was a terrible dad, he never went to park with me to play football or anything. Not that I like football, but he was telling his fiancée – April – so many stories from my childhood that never happened! Like doesn't he have something better to do than to tell her fake stories about his only kid?

I groan and close my eyes as I enter the living home. "Your ex-husband is such a shithead." I say to my mom and don't even care. Just before I went to the dinner, mom found me sneaking out of the house, so I had to tell her where was I going.

"I know." She answers and when I open my eyes, I notice she's not the only one sitting on the couch.

"Hi," I smile.

"Hi," Blaine says and smiles back.

"What are you doing here?" I ask then.

"Well, I asked my mom, and she let me sleep here again. Just for one night though, but it's better than nothing, don't you think?" He smiles.

"And I agreed." My mom says then. "I thought you'd need some cheering up after the dinner. I knew it couldn't have been anything good."

I nod slowly and Blaine stands up. "Good night, mom." I say as we head to my room.

"Good night Ms. Phillips." Blaine says and my mom nods. Then we finally go upstairs to my room and I close the room behind us. Blaine sits on my bed and I sit right next to him, letting my head fall on his shoulder. Some cheering up would be great.

"So, how was it?" He asks me and I sigh.

"What do you think, horrible." I answer. "He made up stories about how amazing dad he was and that's such a crap." I sigh. "But April, his fiancée was really nice. Honestly, she was beautiful, with red hair and fair skin. Her eyes were big and beautiful, but in a really pleasant way, not in a substance-abuse way. She was like a trademark of the Walt Disney Company." I laugh. "Yeah, they make a horrible couple." I laugh a bit.

"Well, at least we make a great couple." He says and kisses my cheek. I smile and kiss him on the lips lightly.

"Yes, we do." I smile at him. Then I sigh again. "I should not have come to the dinner. Now I feel bad because of April and what did she have to witness." I say then.

Suddenly Blaine hugs me. "Hey," he says and gently grabs my head to make me look at him. "Forget about your dad." He says. "Forget about everything that doesn't make you feel good. Forget about all the trouble you have, and think about everything good that's waiting for you in life."

I smile. "Thank you." I say and lean in to kiss him. He closes his eyes just as our lips meet and then I close my eyes too, just enjoying the feeling. Then I kiss his cheek and ear, before I let my head rest in the crook of his neck, closing my eyes again. "You make me feel good, and I'll remember that forever." I say.

His grip on me tightens. "I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, Blaine." I smile.

And suddenly everything's okay. Everything is alright, just as I wanted it to be. Blaine's right. I can forget about dad and about April. I'm probably never going to see them again anyway. Maybe just once to look at my baby brother. But that's all. I have Blaine, right here in my hug, on my bed, and I know I'm never letting him go.

There are so many good things in life waiting for the both of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is set a few months in the future - specifically, the day Carson is supposed to die. (The book skips a few weeks/months anyway bc Carson isn't writing his journal anymore, not as often as before.) I'm gonna post it now, so you don't have to wait to find out if he dies or not :D  
> Hmm so nice, aren't I? :D :D :D


	24. The Most Important Story

A few months later

I'm so excited! It's here, _the_ _Day_ with capital D! The day my literary magazine is being sold! I honestly can't believe it, just about two months ago, it was all just a dream. An idea how to get into Northwestern and I had to work so hard to make this all happen. Yes, I blackmailed a few people... but it was all for the greater good, wasn't it? It was all worth it.

Because look at me now. I'm in the journalism classroom, looking at all the printed copies of my magazine on the table. Malerie is here with me too, and we're just about to go outside, and sell it. Sell everything.

I've been waiting for this day for so long.

Malerie and I had made a huge green wallpaper with LITERARY MAGAZINE written on it and I'm going to make sure _no one_ makes SHITERARY MAGAZINE from it as someone did with the submission box. We'll also have to bring a table out in front of the school... and two chairs.

I seriously can't wait for the big moment! I know I've already been accepted to Northwestern, but that doesn't make me any less excited and... and nervous. Nervous? Yeah, I guess that's what I feel right now.

Twenty minutes later and Malerie and I are already sitting outside, with the Literary Magazines on the table next to us. So far? No success. People have been going around for more than ten minutes and all we got was just a few dirty looks.

I guess I was right. Everybody hates me. Even Blaine isn't here. _Where_ is he?

"What's this?" Some jackass comes to our table and almost spits on me.

"It's a magazine." Malerie answers, but he's already leaving, laughing. It's sickening to see how people treat us. All we want to do is sell a few copies and let them see how much work we've put into this.

"Dick." Another guy calls me as he empties a chips packet onto the table and throws the empty packet right into my face.

_The higher your cloud, the further your rain falls._

"It's full of literary stuff!" Malerie tries. "Three dollars."

_But when it rains, it pours._

xoXOXox

After two hours, Malerie and I just give up and return to the journalism classroom. Everything seems to be easier when I'm there. If only Blaine was here too.

Honestly, just a few people bought the magazine. And I was very surprised to see that it were the Glee kids. Finn and Rude Rachel bought two copies, probably because they felt sorry for me, or I don't know. Maybe they want to be friends and help me. Mercedes (or what was her name) also bought a copy and so did Mr. Schuester. The wheelchair kid – Artie – bought one too and he smiled at us, saying that he can't wait to see what I've written there.

And the only student who wasn't from Glee club and bought the magazine was some guy, and he just ripped it to shreds right in front of my face.

The Glee club has been quite good by the way. I didn't think I'd say this, but I enjoy going there after school and just relax in the chair, next to Blaine and sing. I still prefer writing, but singing isn't that bad either.

"What are we gonna do with all of these?" Malerie asks and snaps me back into reality. We're putting the boxes full of Literary Magazine copies on the desks in the classroom. And she's right. We haven't sold more than six copies, what are we gonna do with the rest?

And then I get the idea. "I'll donate them to my grandma's home. I'll call them and they should send someone here after school to come and pick them up and pass them out." I can't even smile. "At least they'll be read... or chewed."

Suddenly Malerie turns to me. "I'm so sorry things didn't work out the way that you wanted them to." She says.

"Me, too." I tell her and smile sadly as I put another five or six copies into the box on the desk. "But at least I got into Northwestern." I say then. "Blaine filled out an application to a music college near Northwestern and we're waiting for his acceptance letter so we can move out together." I smile to myself.

Malerie nods and smiles as she puts her bag over her shoulder and grabs her camcorder. I look at her... and finally ask something I've never asked before.

"Malerie?" I say and she looks at me. "Why do you film everything?" I ask. "I mean, I'm sure you don't want to remember... everything." I say as I sit on the desk behind me.

"What isn't worth remembering?" Malerie answers with a question. "With good memories come bad memories. And I've got a lot of both." She looks at her camcorder. "At least this way I can fast forward through all the bad stuff. A counselor once told me that it doesn't matter if you're stuck in the past or if you try to forget the past. What matters is what you do in the present. That's why I just try to soak it up as much as possible."

I smile and nod. I've never heard Malerie say something so... not dumb. Clever even. Thoughtful. "I think you just found something to write about." I say to her and she smiles at me.

The bell suddenly rings. "I gotta go." Malerie says. "If I'm late for the bus, the driver said he'd make me ride in the trunk. It is _not_ fun." She says as she goes to the door. I hop down off the table.

Then she stops. "Carson," she says and I turn around to look at her. "Are we... friends?" She asks hesitantly. She just keeps looking at me as if she wasn't sure what to think.

"I think we're best friends, Malerie." I say and it's honest. As honest as I can be. I really see a great friend in Malerie. The best friend I'd possibly ever had.

She kisses her fingers and nods. "Cool." She says. I think she's never had a best friend, just like I've never had one. It's a surprise for both of us.

The door closes after her and I'm alone. I sigh and sit to the table, taking one copy with me. I open it and smile at what I have accomplished. I successfully published a literary magazine, filled with the thoughts, concerns, hopes and imaginations of my jaded high school peers. For the first time in my life, I should be happy. But there's one thing that's missing. I sigh. _My boyfriend._

Suddenly the door opens and said boyfriend runs to me and almost falls over the table. I turn around to face him and sigh again.

" _Where_ have you been?" I ask him and fold my arms on my chest.

"I'm sorry," he says and closes his eyes. "I wanted to come after you stopped selling, but my mom wanted me to buy something and... well, I'm here now."

I slowly unfold my arms and stand up. "Why did you want to come _after_ we were selling?" I ask him. "You... you didn't want to buy anything, did you?" I say, my smile fading. Wait, I wasn't even smiling.

He nods. "I... I just couldn't buy it when I knew about the blackmailing. I'd buy it if I didn't know or if you didn't need the blackmail so many people, but I just... I couldn't." He says.

I sigh loudly and close my eyes. Of course he wouldn't want to buy it. He didn't agree with the whole Clovergate operation right from the beginning, why should he be happy about it now?

"I never..." he continues and I look up curiously. "I never told you _why_ I didn't agree with it." He said slowly and quietly.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. "I thought you didn't agree because you thought it wasn't right, and well, I think it's not right too, but I was desperate back then."

"That's the first reason, yes." He says and I go closer to him. I take his hand.

"What's the second reason?" I ask him gently and place my other hand on his shoulder. This had to be serious, he was never this silent.

"I..." He starts. "I was... blackmailed once." He whispers and my eyes widen. "At my old school. That was the reason I left and went to Clover."

"Oh God, Blaine," I whisper and then I wrap my arms around him. And I hold him, I just hold him. It doesn't matter what did he have to do, or who blackmailed him, how and when, I don't care, all I care about is that I'm here with him and he's here with me now and that I hold him in my arms and that I will never, ever let anything like that happen to him again. And okay, maybe I care, but only because I want to make them pay for whatever they did to my sweet boy. "It's okay," I say as he nods against my shoulder. "We'll go to my grandma and get the books there ourselves and we're both going to be alright, okay?" I say and pull away slightly so I can look into his eyes.

He smiles and nods again. "I'd like that, yeah." He whispers and I smile. I really _smile_. Then I lean closer and kiss him. Gentle at first, but then it's more and more passionate. Our fingers touch and I put my other arm around his shoulders. He returns the hug and it feels amazing. It's like solace for both of us.

"Now come on, it's gonna start raining soon." I smile and then we start putting the boxes full of Literary Magazines into my car. The wind starts blowing a bit and I look up at the sky. There are a few black clouds. I hope it won't start raining until we get at least to the Clover Assisted Living Home.

xoXOXox

When we get into my grandma's home with all the printed copies, we go to the reception table. The receptionist takes all my magazines gratefully and thanks me for being so nice. I almost tell her I'm doing this just because I sold almost nothing, but I stop myself and just smile back.

Then we go to my grandma's room, hand in hand, smiling. I open the door and find grandma in the bed. She's sleeping. I smile and come closer to her. I sit down and Blaine sits right next to me.

_It's a scarf blanket._

I remember grandma saying this to me while she was knitting something. I was telling her about everything good and bad at school, and then noticed the thing she was knitting in her hands. I asked her what it was, and that was her answer. A _scarf blanket._

I smile at the memory and take Blaine's hand.

I clear my throat and open the Literary Magazine. At first I want to read to my grandma something I wrote there, but then I get a much better idea.

 _He used to be such a happy boy._ I remember my grandma saying to me. _He used to write me stories._

_I remember the first story he ever wrote me._

_Once upon a time, there was a boy._

_Then it became, once upon a time there was a boy who wanted to fly. And it just got better and better over time. Now I never did find out whether the boy got to fly._

And then it suddenly comes to me.

I have one more story to add. The most important one.

I take a deep breath and squeeze Blaine's hand. "To grandma," I start and carefully take her hand. "Once upon a time, there was a boy who _flew_."

And she _smiles_.

xoXOXox

About ten minutes later, my mom comes into the room. She smiles when she sees me with Blaine and sleeping grandma, all holding hands.

Blaine and I stand up and go to my mom. "She's sleeping," I say and smile at my grandma. My mom nods. "I can take you home if you want. Blaine's sleeping at our house tonight and I'm driving us home anyway." I tell her.

"Yeah, okay," she answers. "That's fine by me." She smiles and then we all leave grandma's room. When we get into the car, it's not raining yet, but we see a _lightning_. It was pretty close to our school.

After another few minutes, it starts raining. And it rains and rains, all the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've killed him, I know. It'd be much more intersting :D :D :D  
> I'm joking, I'm joking! Don't worry, I'm not that evil :D I remember how much I cried during the movie and then again after finishing the book, and I didn't want you guys to be so sad :)  
> Anyway, the next chapter will be posted tomorrow and it's set two years in the future - it's an epilogue :)


	25. All You Need Is Love

Two years later

I look at my watch, checking the time. It's almost 4pm and I'm driving home. I'll get there in twenty minutes and I can't wait to see Blaine's face again. Where is _home_ you ask? Well, we live in our own apartment now, about half an hour drive away from school. _My_ school at least - Northwestern. Blaine attends a music school that's closer to our home, so every day we get in my car and I drive him there, and then I drive to my school.

I still can't believe we have a flat, a real home and we're living together! My mom isn't living on the couch anymore, she lives with Blaine's mom in their own house. We visit each other pretty often, maybe even too often, but what can I do? They both miss their sons. And my mom doesn't even drink anymore... much. She became best friends with Pamela, which is great for her social life. She didn't have any social life when she was in Clover. And she doesn't even need a psychiatrist anymore!

When we moved, about a year and a half ago, we moved my grandma, too. She lived in a new, better Assisted Living Home, and even though she still didn't remember me, she was happy. A few months ago though, she passed away.

I look at my watch again and sigh. Blaine wasn't feeling well this morning, so I drove to school alone and he stayed at home. I hope he's alright, I don't want him to get sick.

Northwestern is pretty much exactly how I expected it to be. At first I lived in a dorm and I had some weird roommate, but as soon as I got out and bought the apartment for me and Blaine, everything got better. We even have real journalism classes in Northwestern, so it's not all up to me like in Clover. But I still managed to create a whole new Writers' Club in Northwestern, too.

And I even sing in Glee club! It's not the same one that was in Clover, and Northwestern doesn't have any music classes, but I talked to Blaine and he got a permission for me, so I can go to his school for Glee club every week. And that's amazing because I can sing with Blaine again, and we rehearse together at home.

Blaine even taught me to play piano! I can remember the day as if it was yesterday. He came to me and asked if I still wanted to play and I nodded, so he showed me how. After our first lesson, we somehow ended up in bed and had our first time. And that's something you can never forget.

Honestly, I and Blaine are living great lives, and we both have our future and I'm sure all our dreams will come true.

I finally park the car (yup, still the one after my grandpa) in front of the high building where we live, and run to the elevator. I can't wait to see his face after he sees my present, I bought chocolate for him to feel better.

"Honey, I'm home!" I yell at him as I open the door and come in. Wait, something's wrong. Why is it so dark in here? "Blaine?" I say and go to the kitchen to turn on the lights. Is he even at home?

Then I go into the living room and almost have a heart attack. There are balloons and confetti everywhere, all over the room. And candles, god, so many candles! And a cake on the table and...

Blaine is standing in front of me, in a beautiful yellow suit with a little bow tie around his neck, his hair gelled so neatly it almost looks as if it was made of porcelain. There's a broad smile on his face as he looks at me.

And it's not only Blaine who's there, there's also Mr. Schuester, Rachel and Finn, Mercedes, Santana with Brittany and so many people from our old Glee Club. There's also Tiffany and Matt, my friends from journalism class in Northwestern (how did they get here so fast?) and Malerie and my mom with Blaine's mom and everyone's dressed so nicely.

For a minute I think it's my birthday, but then suddenly the music starts playing and Blaine starts singing, not taking his eyes away from me.

 _There's nothing you can do that can't be done_  
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung  
Nothing you can say, but you can learn  
How to play the game,  
It's easy

 _Nothing you can make that can't be made_  
No one you can save that can't be saved  
Nothing you can do, but you can learn  
How to be you in time  
It's easy

 _All you need is love_  
All you need is love  
All you need is love, love  
Love is all you need

 _Nothing you can know that isn't known_  
Nothing you can see that isn't shown  
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where  
You're meant to be  
It's easy

 _All you need is love_  
All you need is love  
All you need is love, love  
Love is all you need  
All you need is love  
All you need is love  
All you need is love, love

_Love is all you need_   
_Love is all you need_

_He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_yeah_

I can't believe this is happening, is this a dream? I really want to pinch myself to find out, but then suddenly Blaine takes my hand and looks deep into my eyes and I realize I'm crying. When was the last time I cried?

"Kurt," Blaine starts and I hold my breath. "From the moment I saw you, I knew you were the one. The one I wanted to spend my life with." He takes a deep breath. "And when I got to be with you, I knew I was right and that we were always meant to be. That's why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you, it's always felt like I was remembering you from something." I smile, but somehow the tears keep streaming down my cheeks and I can't stop it. "I love you, and all I've ever wanted to do... is spend my life loving you." He says and then he kneels before me.

I gasp when he shows me a ring in a little black box. "So, Carson Kurt Phillips, my amazing friend, my one true love... _will you marry me?_ "

Everyone is so quiet, waiting for my answer.

"Yeah," I laugh a bit. "Yeah, yeah, of course!" I smile and then his lips are on mine and we're kissing. I throw my hands around him and hug him as tight as possible, and he puts the ring on my finger. "I love you too!" I laugh, still crying. He wipes my tears with his thumb and smiles at me, beaming with happiness.

I'm so happy I can't even hear everyone laughing and clapping their hands. I smile at my fiancé and look into his bright brown eyes and then I kiss him again.

.

.

.

Blaine Anderson has changed me. I can barely remember the person I was before I met him - all I ever cared about was my future and I didn't care what I would have to do, as long as I was going to be accepted to my dream college, nothing else mattered. It didn't even occur to me that I might be in a relationship, I never cared about falling in love.

But then I met _him,_ my one true love, the person that's changed me for better.

And God, am I glad I did.

*The End*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for reading this and commenting, you're all awesome! :D It took me 24 weeks to write and I hope you all enjoyed this fanfic as much as I did!
> 
> I hope you all liked the epilogue! *winks* ;DD

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! ;)


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